Archive for April, 2016


Beauty

I think one of the things I’ve lost in the last 3-5 years is my ability to see beauty in the little things. It used to be that I’d look with wonder and amazement at things which most people would find inconsequential, and now I mostly just shrug.

My university experience is probably to blame here. In the last seven years I’ve come across a lot of people who think that a lot of different things are Really Really Important. Grades, paries, student council elections, sports, protest movements, sex, clubs,  drinking establishments, fraternities… and on and on.

Rightly or wrongly, my response was to dismiss it all. I came to see nothing as important. I’m not sure that’s the right way to go about things anymore though.

The first step I’m going to take toward remedying this situation is to dive back into studying languages. I’ve always found beauty in the subtleties of how languages operate, and having been out of that loop for three years, I think getting back into it would be good for me.

I’m not sure to what extent I’ll just dive in. I might just purchase a self-study guide of some sort, or I might go all out and take a language course. One way or another, this will be one thing I do to help me get through the next year.

Barring An Asteroid

The last exam of my last year of university carries with it about the same weight as the last exam of my first year of university. That is to say, none.

Back then, the lack of pressure was caused by my decision to transfer out of Queen’s. I knew that my transferred credits wouldn’t carry their marks with them, so there was absolutely no difference between passing with a 60 and passing with a 99. Since I’d done reasonably well on my coursework and the exam was only worth 30%, even a zero on the exam would still have left me with a passing grade.

Today, I sit here confident in the knowledge that I’ve secured 62 upper year credits. I need only 59 to graduate. That renders tomorrow’s exam, worth three credits, moot. Even if I have an abysmal showing and somehow fail the course, I’m golden. Barring an asteroid hitting me between now and my graduation in June, I’m going to get this degree.

I’m not someone who works well under extreme pressure, but I’m also not someone who works well with no pressure whatsoever. My preparation has been somewhat lacking for this exam, and I may be in for a bit of a shock in the morning.

One way or another, it’s all over at 5:00.

Square One

It’s been a whirlwind of a week.

It started with the realization that the last firm I had applied to wasn’t going to get back to me in time, and that I wouldn’t be able so escape Kingston as I had hoped.

Then another firm posted an advert, promising a quick decision on hiring. I checked the firm’s website: family and criminal law. Located in Greektown. Excellent. I fired off a quick application.

Within 8 hours I heard back – the employer wanted to have a chat. Fantastic.

The call went well right up to the end. He struck me as a very laid back man. Casual, but not unprofessional. The hours would be 9-5 with rare exceptions when emergencies come up. Great. The work would be 75% family law and 25% criminal. Awesome.

Pay would be $560 per week.

Goddammit.

Look, money isn’t the only thing that matters, and that amount would still be the most I’ve ever made. But it’s not enough to be able to live comfortably in Toronto.  Rent alone would wipe half of my paycheque out, and then factoring in utilities, bills, and groceries, we’re looking at a real tight squeeze. Would I take less money to be able to live and work in Toronto? Absolutely. But it has to be enough to allow me to live without having to worry about running out of money and having to ask for a parental bail-out.

So now we’re back to square one. Unless something happens in the next 24 hours, I’m stuck in Kingston until Spring 2017.