I’m close.

That’s the weirdest thing about this. 78 hours from now, if I play my cards right, I’ll have the beginning of my career lined up. It sounds crazy to say that, but it’s true.

The problem is, I’m not really sure which cards are the right cards, or which cards I’m holding. I don’t even know what game we’re playing.

I go back and forth between being optimistic and pessimistic.

On one hand, I have 8 interviews coming up, and that gives me a lot of margin for error. I’m comforted by the fact that I don’t need to knock all 8 interviews out of the park. I don’t even need to knock half of them out of the park. I just need to crush one of these eight, because ultimately one offer is all I need for this to be a successful week.

That seems like a very obtainable goal. In past stages of this process, one positive response would have been humbling and would have put me in a very difficult position going forward. But now we’re approaching the finish line, and aside from a boost to my self esteem and some small degree of choice, there’s no real difference between getting one call at 5:00 on Wednesday or three.

On the other hand, even though one positive result out of eight sets a pretty low bar, there’s every possibility that I’ll strike out on Wednesday. This whole thing seems a little too good to be true, and I wonder whether or not it might be. Nothing has come easy to me lately, and it almost seems unbelievable in my own head that I might actually be able to relax during my final year of school, secure in the knowledge that I’ve got a job offer locked up.

The other issue is that job interviews aren’t an area that I excel in. Set me an exam, and I’ll walk into the room confident that I’m going to do better than half of the people in the room at an absolute minimum. Tell me to write an essay, and I know I can spit something out with a quality somewhere between above average and excellent.

Interviews put me on edge though. There’s so much to think about: body language, smiling, eye contact – not to mention the actual words coming out of my mouth. It’s not an environment in which I feel particularly comfortable. Even where I’ve had interviews go very well in the past, they haven’t led to anything. The one positive is that with so many interviews compressed into such a short span of time, I should start feeling more comfortable with them by the third or fourth one, and that’s good since I’ve purposely scheduled the employers which are higher up on my list of preferences for Monday afternoon and Tuesday morning.

Ultimately, I have no idea how this is going to end up. By Wednesday evening either I’ll have a job, or it’ll be time to start working on more applications. Either way it’ll be nice to at least have this process over with.

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