Tomorrow is kind of a big day. By the time the day is through, I’ll know which employers want to give me an interview, and which ones aren’t interested in the slightest.

It’s hard to get excited though, because the best possible result for me is a slew of hollow victories. I can’t come away with a job; I can only come away with a notification that an employer is interested enough in my services that they’re willing to let me participate in the first of two rounds of interviews. Actually being hired (for a temporary position, no less) will still be six weeks and two interviews away – if I’m lucky.

On the other hand, I can (and will) be eliminated from the lists of at least a few employers tomorrow. That will suck because it implies that they didn’t even see me as worthy of an audition – an awful insult.

Honestly, I don’t know what to expect. 18 months ago I would have been genuinely excited about all of the possibilities that would no doubt be coming my way tomorrow. But the last 18 months of my life have been filled with more rejection letters and unanswered emails than the first 22 years combined, and I can’t help but think about all of the rejections that I’m sure to receive tomorrow.

Those first two weeks of March 2013 are what did this to me. First, UCL rejected me after getting my hopes up by requesting an official transcript to confirm my grades. Then the LSAT dealt me a final humbling blow. And then, insult of insults, the University of Windsor waitlisted me. I still haven’t gotten over that one. I want to go to Windsor’s admissions office and say “How fucking dare you. Your shitty school is consistently ranked in the bottom three in this country, and YOU’RE waitlisting ME? You should be so lucky as to have someone like me even showing the slightest bit of interest. You should be licking my boots and BEGGING me not to reject you.” 

…But I digress.

The point being, I’m going to keep my expectations low. I’ll be hearing back from about 9 of the 19 employers I’ve applied to thus far tomorrow. If not a single one offers me an interview, I don’t think I’ll be shocked. I’ll be devastated, but not shocked.

Here’s hoping for some hollow victories.