In my opinion, school is easy.

Let me qualify that. Doing well in school is not easy, but not doing poorly in school is easy. You follow?

I’m sure you’ve all been in a class where you’ve done very well, and then discovered that the class average was astoundingly low. And you’ve wondered what the other chowderheads in your class could have done to bring down the class average so much.

More often than not, it’s a lack of effort. Specifically, it’s a lack of effort in the most difficult place to put in no effort: in class.

I’ve never understood people who don’t pay attention in class. Why on earth would you take the time and effort to walk to campus and commit to spending the next hour an a half (or more) of your life in a musty old classroom only to spend the entire time on Facebook, doing exactly what you would have been doing had you stayed at home? I understand skipping class entirely – that at least makes logical sense. But to actually go to class and accomplish as much as if you skipped class? Absolutely mystifying.

It used to annoy me when I saw people doing this, but not anymore. I’m in law school now, and the rules have changed. All of us are slaves to the ruthless B-curve. It’s very simple:  Only 25% of the class can get As, and the median grade must be a B. In effect, this makes percentages useless. It doesn’t matter if you scored a 95 on that last assignment – if everyone else scored 97, that 95 is a B.

So now when I see people not paying attention in class, my eyes light up. That’s blood in the water to me. That’s raw meat. I lick my lips because I know that when it comes time for the exam (worth 100% of our grade) I’ve got that person beat.

I think that a lot of law students think they can beat the system. They think they have a superhuman ability to multitask, when the reality is that no one does. If you try to multitask, you’re bound to lose efficiency. Flipping off a text or two when the professor has gone off topic is one thing, but you can’t possibly scroll through dozens of status updates and take good notes simultaneously. It’s impossible. What usually happens is that a student will switch from Facebook to their notes when they hear the professor say something that sounds important about a particular topic and copy the last sentence the professor said verbatim. And then they’ll go home thinking they fully understand that topic.

When it comes time for the exam, it doesn’t matter how much they’ve studied. They can study all day and all night for a week and it won’t make a lick of difference. Studying for three hours with excellent notes will take you much further than studying for ten hours with shabby notes. That’s just how it works.


Here at the castle, it’s even crazier. There are six hours per day of lectures here, split into two three hour blocks. The class moves at an accelerated pace, so every minute you spend not paying attention is even more harmful. And yet, people are not only spending their time on Facebook, but booking entire vacations during class! It baffles me. You’ve got a dorm room and half a dozen hours of free time after class ends. Why do you have to map our your weekend getaways in class?

But hey, enjoy Ibiza. Make sure you don’t catch an STD while you’re there and miss the exam – I want your grade to count towards the curve.