Archive for February, 2012

Insignificant Anniversaries

I never posted a blog on February 29th 2008, and since the next time I’ll get the chance to post a blog on February 29th will be in 2016, I figure I may as well chime in with something brief here:

You know what I wish people took more notice of? Insignificant anniversaries.

People care a lot about “big” anniversaries such as birthdays and relationship anniversaries, but don’t seem to notice the small ones enough for my liking. Where were you on this date a month ago? A year ago? Two years ago?

In fairness, today’s a bit of a tricky day since there’s only one February 29th every four years, but what about yesterday? Last February 28th, I was trying desperately to be rid of someone who wanted to get into my pants. It’s a massively insignificant thing, but at the same time it’s absolutely mind-blowing to think “Man, I can’t believe that was a whole year ago!”, and it makes me smile to think about the memory of that afternoon.

Every day gives you a new reason to remember good times or feel proud about how far you’ve come since then.

Celebrate the little things!


Take a deep breath. In, and then out.

That, my friends, is one of the most underrated things in the world. 99% of the time you don’t even realize that you’re doing it.

Let me tell you though, it really sucks when you can’t.


Over the past two weeks I’ve had this nagging dry cough that wouldn’t go away and was getting progressively worse. Last Thursday, I woke up to the sound of a fire alarm in my building. I groggily emerged from my bed and went to put pants on in order to evacuate when I started coughing. I went to grab a drink of water, and then suddenly my throat seized up and I found myself unable to breathe. I stumbled into the hallway and pounded on the walls to try to get someone’s intention. Fortunately a floormate saw me and went to get help. The feeling of being unable to breathe only lasted about 20 seconds, but it felt like forever. After it passed I was left coughing violently and gagging, but able to get air into my lungs in between. As a result of the fire alarm, there were fire fighters in the building, and they were able to get me some oxygen, which helped. They then called for an ambulance to take me to the hospital.

At the hospital they did a basic array of tests to determine if there was anything seriously wrong with me. Fortunately, all tests came back negative, and I was told it was just a respiratory infection, and sent home. The rest of the day went normally. I reported to my concerned friends that I was alright, and I assured them that if it happened again, I would alert them immediately.

That night, as I was drifting off to sleep, it happened again. I pounded on my friend’s door before dropping to my hands and knees, gasping for air. Another trip to the hospital. Again I was assured that nothing was seriously wrong, but I was given some medication to help this time.

Since then I’ve gotten better. I’ve had a few attacks where I find it hard to breathe, but not as bad as the first two. Resting and being careful to not over exert myself have helped, and I’m mostly back to normal now.

Still, scary shit. I shan’t be taking breathing for granted for a while, I’ll say that much.



Free Samples, Reprised

A few months ago I wrote a blog discussing the wonders of free samples, and how great it’d be if life allowed us to sample various experiences before having to commit to them. I just have a few additional thoughts on that matter, if it’s alright with you.

And if it’s not alright with you, well, FUCK YOU.

What I failed to recognize in the previous blog is that life sometimes does give you free samples. Usually not on life’s biggest decisions – I certainly never received a sample of how going to school in Kingston would be – but often on medium and low-level decisions.

For example, before I signed up for fencing at Queen’s and committed a moderate amount of time and money to it, I participated in a two hour demonstration session, where I was able to see for myself whether or not it was something I enjoyed.

Sometimes life is cruel, however, and gives you samples of things that you can’t actually buy.

Recently, I had the opportunity to try out ballroom and latin dancing for a negligible financial cost. Now, you might not think of me as the dancing type, but as it happens I can dance with all the passion and sexual allure of  Buzz Lightyear.

Or at least, that’s what I like to think.

Anyhow, I had a lot of fun strutting my stuff that night. And apparently I wasn’t all that shabby. Perhaps she was just trying to inflate my confidence, but the instructor came up to me and my partner and told us how good we looked together and that we ought to stick together for competitions.

Awesome, right? Only one problem: I was in England, and leaving in three days. As much as I had enjoyed dancing, and as much as I thought my partner was a great human being, and as much as I would have loved to continue dancing with her, improving my skills, and competing… there was just no way I could do it. Though incredibly grateful and flattered by the offer, I had to decline it.


Life is very selective about the samples it gives us. Sometimes it makes us offers that we simply can’t accept. I guess it’s just a matter of trying to enjoy the samples we get, whether we can “purchase” their product or not.

Little Vengeance The Third

I’m going to level with you guys: Those last two blogs were shit. When I complain about something, I try to do it in a way that’s full of both humour and hate. Those last two were just childish and spiteful.

But fear not, my friends, for I’m out to redeem myself with this one. It’s a story that I’ve told before, but it is nevertheless an awesome one.

Upon finishing an utterly forgettable dinner at the good old residence, me and several friends made our way back to the elevators so that we could return to the twelfth floor.

As often happens during that treacherous 20 metre walk, two people became separated from the group, lagging behind to grab an apple or check tomorrow’s menu. The elevator arrived, and they were still at the other end of the room.

Then an event occurred which changed everything: Another woman (let’s call her a bitch) spoke up in that bitchy tone of voice that bitches often use. You know, that really nasally one. Yeah, that’s it.

“Hurry up and get inside the elevator and close the doors!” she said.

Up until that moment I would have been perfectly willing to let the doors close. My friends could have caught the next elevator, after all. And failing that, well… that’s what stairs are for, right?

But upon hearing the bitch speak, I stuck out my left arm in order to hold the doors open. I pointed at her and said “Just because you said that…” and waited for the two stragglers to arrive. They appreciated having the door held for them. Bitch was less pleased. She gave me one of the greatest eyerolls of all time in a futile attempt to burn a hole in my forehead.

That alone would have been sufficient, but then an event occurred which almost never does: The elevator stopped on the 2nd floor. Since the second floor is off limits to students, and since it’s easily accessible via escalator, you rarely see the elevator stop on floor 2. But it did, and the doors opened to reveal a small Asian man wheeling a large dish-laden trolley.

The man gave us that hesitant look “Oh-gee-whiz-I’m-not-sure-I-can-fit” look, and it appeared as though he would have to wait for the next elevator.

But I was on a mission, my friends!

“Please, join us!” I implored him. “Plenty of room in here!”

Thrilled by this invitation, the man slowly wheeled his trolley into the elevator, and pushed the button for floor 3. Moments later, I helped him slowly wheel his trolley out.

If looks could kill, I would not have survived the rest of that elevator ride. As it happened, the elevator proceeded to the 12th floor without any further interruption. I considered pulling a Will Ferrell in Elf move, but decided against it as I felt it would be crossing the line between hilarious and douchebaggy. Nevertheless, upon disembarking, I was applauded by my floor 12 allies for my actions.

Like I’ve said, you don’t need to ruin someone’s life to get back at them. Sometimes a Little Vengeance is enough.