Archive for August, 2011

Whipped Cream

To briefly summarize my trip to Aruba, it was like whipped cream on top of a most excellent vanilla bean frappuccino at Starbucks: Not the focal point, but nevertheless a most enjoyable addition to an already enjoyable experience.

Did it top the road trip? No.

Did it top Spain? Hell no.

Did it top Cuba ’08, or Jamaica ’10, or Dominican Republic ’04? No.


But it was still a lot of fun, and a worthwhile trip from which I will take away many memories.


As for the future, let’s do the math:

Twelve days left before move out day.

Six of these days will be taken up by work. The other six will be spent with good people in an attempt to squeeze the final few drops of goodness out of Summer ’11 before we leave its dry husk behind. And maybe I’ll get my driver’s license too.

Stay tuned.



I bet you weren’t expecting me to show up this week. But here I am, posting from a gorgeous resort in Aruba, where the sun is hot and the pool is cool…

Nah, I’m just joshing you. Had you going for a second, didn’t I? But alas, this entire blog is but a ruse. It’s actually August 13th as I type this, and I’m not in Aruba, but in my bedroom. This clever bit of trickery was made possible by a feature of WordPress which allows me to type out blogs and then have them automatically posted days, weeks, or even years later. Pretty neat, eh?

If I wanted to, I could type up a blog to be published on January 1st, 3000, telling future generations that I was once worshipped as a GOD, and that unless I am paid tribute, I will descend upon the pitiful inhabitants of earth and destroy them!

Or not.

Yeah. See you in a few days.

Vacation 3/3

Well it’s just about time to fuck off to Aruba for the third and final vacation of the summer, and I’ve gotta say – I’m not really pumped for this one.

I mean, I’ve already had two awesome vacations this summer, and this third one sort of feels like overkill. The awesomeness of the two previous trips likely won’t be topped by this one, and while a week beside a sandy beach never hurt anybody, I’m kind of just looking forward to seeing the calendar flip over to September so that we can get school started with. I miss my friends, I miss living in Toronto, and moreover, I’m just bored with summer.

Nevertheless, I shall try to finish up strong. I’ll see you all in a week.

Mission Failed

Goddamn cunty pedestrians. I hate them all.

Got 82/100 on the road test. Passing mark is 75/100, I believe.

Nevertheless, I managed to fail whilst on the cusp of success by cutting off a blue-shirted pedestrian who materialized out of absolutely nowhere. Cutting off a pedestrian is an automatic fail, regardless of the test score.

This sucks, clearly. But, it’s better that I failed the test because of one major error than if I had failed because of a multitude of smaller errors. This means that I have the ability to pass this thing. I did everything else reasonably well. I even posted a perfect score on the parallel parking section. Had that blue-shirted man not been in that place at that time, I would have passed.

This bitch will be retaken in a few weeks.

Road Test Time

You don’t need to be a mistake-free driver to pass a road test. You just need to be able to fake it for 15 minutes.


Tomorrow I shall embark on what might just be my final road test ever. I’ve put it off for a good two years now, but now it’s time to face the music.

There’s a simple reason why it’s taken me so long: I don’t like driving. Being on the road stresses me out. I derive absolutely no pleasure from it at all.

Fortunately, my current position in life is such that I very rarely need to drive anyhow. I live downtown for eight months of the year, where everything (including the subway line) is within walking distance. During the other four months of the year when I’m in Woodbridge, my favourite haunts are all within walking distance. You can get to my favourite local restaurant, a Tim’s, a Starbucks, a Subway, a frozen yogurt place (once it opens), and the mall within a half hour walk. Plus, the nearby bus route leads directly into the city. Whenever I’m headed somewhere that is inaccessible by foot, I’m usually going with my whole family, and thus my parents drive.

Why bother doing this road test at all then?

Honestly, it’s mostly just to get it over and done with. See, Ontario law gives you five years to get from stage one of the licensing process (G1) to the third and final stage (G). I went from stage one to stage two (G2) in just over eight months, but since then over three years have passed, and I haven’t attempted to get that final license until now. If I were to go over the five year time limit, I’d be reset to the beginning of the process, which means that I would have two road tests ahead of me instead of one. So that would suck. Plus, I’d lose the ability to drive on my own for a minimum of one year, and while I don’t enjoy driving, it certainly comes in handy to have the ability on the rare occasions that it’s necessary.

What are my odds of success?

Well, I haven’t practised much. I’ve never in my life attempted a parallel park, and that’s one of the elements on the test. I’ve only been on the highway a handful of times. So, realistically, the odds are against me.

Nonetheless, I shall give it my best shot. I’d really like to pass this thing since:

  1. It’ll have made taking the day off work worth it.
  2. I won’t have to hear lectures from my parents.
  3. Most importantly, if I pass this one, I won’t have to repeat this test ever again. At least, not until I’m 80.

Let us pray that Fortune shines upon me.


After attempting to think of a good title for EONS, this was all that I could come up with. Sorry for the lameness.


Anyhow, it’s August now. August is a month normally met with groans and sighs. Typically around this time of year, I’m thinking “Aww, it’s August. Summer is almost over.”

This year is a little different. Summer to this point has been nothing short of glorious. Now we’ve hit August, and there’s nothing really to look forward to until school starts. I mean, I have my final driver’s test on the 10th, and am then departing to Aruba for the third and final vacation of this summer on the 14th. That’s it.

The driver’s test isn’t even really something I’m looking forward to. It’s something I’ve been dreading and avoiding for over a year. In all likelihood I’ll fail it, since I’ve hardly practiced for it, which means that I’ll have to endure a lecture from my father as well as another test at some point during the year.

Aruba, on the other hand, should be sweet. But then again, I’ve already had two sweet vacations this summer, and Aruba is likely to be the least of the three. Nonetheless, it’ll still be a good week I’m sure.

But once that’s over, summer is effectively done. Fortunately there are only two weeks between the end of Aruba and move-out day, but those will be two long and boring weeks.