I checked the weather forecast this morning and smiled. 

Thursday, high of 23.
Friday, high of 28.
Saturday, high of 25.
Sunday, high of 21.

The long winter is finally coming to an end. As far as Canadian winters go, it was pretty mild. It just felt like it would never end. Now that it is, things are looking up. School is almost over, and that means that an unprecedented four month long summer vacation is immenent. I cleared up that U of T problem, and it appears that I’ve been legitimately accepted to the school, with the condition that I maintain a 72 average. I don’t forsee any problems there.

In spite of all these happy omens, I don’t feel all that well at the moment. The reason is because I can feel a sense of loss washing over me. It’s the same thing that happened last year when the end of high school was approaching. I didn’t expect to feel it this year, but I am.

Even though it hasn’t been that great of a year, there are elements of it that I will miss and people who I would rather not be without.

Things like fencing, for example. Tomorrow is my last day. And then I’ll have to say goodbye to a bunch of people. And it’s not “Goodbye for now” or “See you next week”; it’s “Goodbye forever.” That’s tough. I already said goodbye to the members of my ball hockey team when our season ended two weeks ago, and curling is almost over as well. That’s a lot of good people who I’ll never see again.

There are a few people here who have really kept me going. Sometimes they’ve done it through video games, sometimes through walking semi-aimlessly around town with me. There are times when I’ve been in a terrible mood, and I’ve texted someone and said “I need to get out of here. Now.”, and they’ve said “k”. I’m not a spontaneous person by any means, but there are times when I just need to do something, and having people that I can count on to accomodate that nine times out of ten is great. That’s not something that I’m used to getting, and it’s not something that I’m likely to have next year. I can’t thank those individuals enough.

But regardless of how grateful I am to these people, the fact remains that I’m going to lose them soon. And that sucks.

What sucks more is the fact that I’m leaving them, and not the other way around. That’s how it always seems to be with me. In grade five, I left my original school and all of my friends behind. In grade nine I left my friends behind to go to St. Mike’s. Granted, I had no say in the matter, and granted that it was a good choice in the end, but it still resulted in me losing a good chunk of my friends. Then last year I’m the one who left everyone else behind to go to Queen’s. And now I’m leaving everyone here behind to go back.

I know that it’s for the best, but… I hate how life is making me pick and choose between groups of friends. It’s not fair that I have to lose people in order to gain other people. Not fair at all.

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