At what point are you supposed to cling? At what point are you supposed to say "You know, I’m fairly content with where I’m at in my life right now, and I think I’m just going to settle down and keep things as they are."?

I first tried to cling on my tenth birthday. I told my parents that I was completely opposed to the rate at which I was growing up, and demanded that it stop. My demands were not met.

I tried again in grade nine. I was watching a movie with my elementary school friends, and I remember thinking to myself at one point: "These are my true friends. Not the guys at my high school." And so I tried to hold them. And I failed. Had I not failed, maybe I wouldn’t have enjoyed high school as much as I did.

I’m trying to cling again now. I’m saying that the people who I’m friends with now are my true friends, and to hell with everybody else.

I just want to know when life is supposed to become stable. Because apparently elementary school is just preparation for high school, and you’re expected to lose 90% of the people you met in elementary school when you move on to high school. And apparently high school is just preparation for university, and you’re expected to lose 90% of the people you met in high school when you move on to university.

What’s next? Is university just preparation for the "real world"? Does it ever end?

At some point, you’ve got to cling on to what you have. I don’t just mean the people in your life, I mean your way of life as a whole.

But where is that point?

The reason I’m asking is that this past Thursday I sat in my high school’s cafeteria with seventy or so of my old classmates, and we shared a meal. And for those two hours, I was very happy. Clinging onto that school and those people just felt right. But I felt that way after elementary school too, and had I succeeded in holding onto that way of life, high school would have been crappy. So, I’m torn. Do I hold on to what I have? Or will that only hurt me in the long run?

I just want some stability in my life, that’s all.

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