Archive for May, 2009

The Final Decision

So, here we are, less than 48 hours before the official deadine, and I’ve finally come to a decision.

I have to wonder whether I debated this seriously enough before coming to this conclusion. It’s entirely possible that I looked at the clock, panicked, and went "Eeny, meeny, miny, mo." Textbook Kotov Sydrome.

But I think that I’ve made a good choice here.

Let’s face it: Neither school is perfect for me. If one of them was, I would’ve made this decision months ago. As I’ve demonstrated in the past, the schools are more or less equal.

But what won me over to this side was its ability to provide the best of both worlds.

Friends and family.
Old friends and new.
Privacy and a social life.
Freedom and academic pressure.

And while I’m too tired to elaborate at length right now, this school also fulfills my ‘anti-change’ doctrine. My life will change, to be certain, but I think that this school allows me to keep things the same as much as possible.

And so, ladies and gentlemen, I give you my final decision.

I will commence my postsecondary studies at Queen’s University in Kingston, Ontario this fall. God help me.

I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t. No matter how sure I am of picking one place, there’s always some factor which draws me back into the realm of confusion.

I promised myself and my family that I would make my decision by today, but here I am, failing to uphold that promise.

Here’s the final dilemma:

I like Queen’s more.

But, is that worth the price of being far away from my family and most of my friends? Can I survive, knowing that if I find myself up shit’s creek, my options for returning home will be limited? Will I be comfortable moving away from the city that I’ve spent much of the past four years in? Will I feel guilty going to Queen’s given that my brother and grandmother both disapprove?

And, despite the amount of time I’ve had to figure these questions out, I’ve been entirely unable to. There are just too many variables to figure out the best course of action. I can’t do it.

And yet I need to. Hopefully by tomorrow.

I’m still not sure what I’m going to do. A week ago, I was certain about my decision one way, but now I’m shifting the other way. I think that I can figure everything out within the next three hours, though.

Alright, that’s bull. There’s no way that I’m going to be 100% sure of my decision in three hours. But I’m going to make a decision regardless.

I may or may not be able to post anything here tonight with regards to my final choice, but stay tuned.

Alright, so it’s not exactly a road trip, but I needed an epic sounding title.

I’m going to be travelling a hell of a lot over the next two weeks. Excluding my hometown, I’m going to be in three different cities in the next two weeks.

From the 11th to the 12th, I’m in Waterloo for a graduate retreat with my classmates.
Home for two days.
From the 15th to the 16th, I’m in Kingston to visit Queen’s.
Home for two days.
From the 19th to the 24th, I’m in Knoxville, competing in the Global Finals for Destination Imagination.

It’ll be damned near impossible for any of these trips to top Cuba in terms of life-altering revelations, but at the very least I think that I’ll learn something about myself from them. I think it’ll be a big help in my university selection.

Actually, it sort of has to be a big help in my university decision. The trip ends on the 24th, which is my decision date. If this trip doesn’t help me out, I’m screwed.

I’m missing something here. I know that I am. There’s no way that two schools could possibly be equally appealing. It’s impossible.

If you know what I’m missing, tell me. I only have two weeks left.

Eighteen days left? Did I skip ahead a few days?

No, I just gave myself a deadline. Rather than use the May 28th deadline provided to me by the province of Ontario, I’m going to force myself to decide on the night of May 24th. I don’t know why, exactly. I just am.

Let’s revisit our Pro-Con list, shall we?

You’ll recall that the final score ended up being 14-14.

But one factor above all caused the score to be even: People.

Combine the categories of Friends, New People, and Family, and the score is 7-3 for UofT.

Discount those three, and suddenly it’s a 11-7 Queen’s victory. That’s a clear gap.

On a related note, if the factor of location were to be discounted, Queen’s would win as well (though I didn’t give any points to location in my tally).

So, I’ve come to two conclusions:

1. Without anyone influencing my decision, I would pick Queen’s.
2. If Queen’s was the same distance away as UofT, I would pick Queen’s.

Here’s the problem though.

The Discount One Factor Method falls flat on its face in that you can’t really discount one factor. The reality is that there are many people influencing my decision, and that Queen’s is a good deal farther away than UofT. To ignore these factors entirely would be foolish.