Archive for July, 2008

The Brain! It Hurts!

Hello to anyone out there. This is Mike, writing as Mike.
No new entries for two weeks, you might have noticed. One week was due to a vacation in Cuba, but the other I have no excuse for. Call it writer’s block, call it what you will: I’m completely stuck. I know where the Saga is supposed to be heading, but I feel no motivation to write it out.
It used to be that I wrote on here mainly for myself, but slowly over the past few months the writing has been more for other people. That wouldn’t really be a bad thing except for the fact that no one really reads this.
The other problem is that I’m working on Cody H. If it gets published, more people will read it than would ever read anything on this space. So, given the choice between investing an hour on the adventures of s3c0ndh4nd and Co., and investing an hour on Cody H., I now tend to take Cody every time.
Here’s the deal, then. The Saga will be put on an indefinite (but hopefully temporary) hiatus. In its place, I have three ideas.
1. Pretend that we’re back in 2006-2007, and have the pre-poisoned s3c0ndh4nd continue his reflactions on life, love, and Innocence.
2. Create a totally new character in an entirely new world; no connection to or knowledge of the temple, the Union, s3c0ndh4nd, Kakunaman, etc.
3. Go back to 2006-2007 and look at the lives of Edge and Cyanize before they meet s3c0ndh4nd and Kakunaman.
If there’s anyone out there, comment. Give me a vote.

E3 2K8 – Predictions

Hola mates!
We’re minutes away from Microsoft’s press conference, and so it’s about time for me to talk a bit on the issue.
First, let’s recap last year: Last year, Microsoft was in first, Nintendo was in 2nd, and Sony had dead last place. Sony had the best press conference, Nintendo’s was second, and Microsoft’s sucked.
I predicted that Sony would close in on Microsoft, and that Nintendo would pass Microsoft for 1st place. I was partly right. Nintendo has taken over first with 24.5 million consoles sold, Microsoft is at 19 million, and Sony is still struggling with 12.8 million.
Why is Sony still so weak? Easy. A lot of their promises from E3 2K7 haven’t come through yet. Killzone 2, announced in 2005, STILL hasn’t come out, for fuck’s sake. They still have a few tricks up their sleeve, so expect them to have a strong press conference this year.
Microsoft has fallen well back of Nintendo, but they’re not out of the race just yet. With Gears of War 2, Halo Wars, and a new Fable game, they have the potential for a killer show this year. They need to pull off some magic if they’re going to catch up to Nintendo anytime soon.
As for Nintendo, they’re on top of the world. I’m just not sure if they can hold it. Brawl is out. Metroid is out. Mario Galaxy is out. Zelda is out. Mario Kart is out. It looks to me like they’re all out of big guns. Of course, Nintendo has a tendency to pull surprises out of nowhere. One such surprise could be the announcement of the DS’ successor. It’s been four years since the venerable handheld came out, so it’s about time they at least announce a new one.
So, those are my opening impressions. Let’s see what Microsoft can pull.
"Mike, I can’t believe you wrote that."
"I didn’t know!"
"What if you hadn’t caught it? Think about it."
"Geez! My bad, Cody, my bad."
Cody laughed. "No harm done. Just think twice before bashing someone like that."
"I didn’t know!"

"Cody, I’m your mother," said Mrs. Harrier. "I’m here to help you when you’re having a bad day. If you really don’t want to tell me what’s wrong, just say so. Don’t go spewing out a ridiculous story. That’s rude and disrespectful. Until you learn to respect your mother, you’d better go to your room. I’ll call you when dinner is ready.


Cody sighed. Seeing no reason to argue any further, he trudged back to his room and plopped himself onto his bed.


‘So much for that.’ Cody thought. ‘What idiot said ‘The truth will set you free’? Whoever said that didn’t know much about truth. It’s more like the exact opposite. I tell the truth and I get shut inside my room for who knows how long.’


Yeah, that is pretty embarassing. This is why we write first drafts. If you still don’t get it, look up ‘the truth will set your free’.

Plan B

You know what, mates? Scratch whatever I said earlier.

According to our scouts, Bellij has a new general leading his troops. His best one, or so I hear. "The Crimson Knight", they call him.

Sounds like bullshit to me. I see what Bellij is trying to do here. He knows that I can’t resist a fight. He knows that I’ll be drawn to the front lines by news of this Crimson Knight.

And that’s exactly what I’m gonna do.

I know what you’re thinking: "Kak, this sounds like a trap!"

Of course it does, you stupid tart. And I’m going to walk right into it. Bellij is forgetting one thing. I’m not afraid of his traps. What’s the worst he could do to me? Surround me with thirty of his lame-ass soldiers? Please.

I could ruin his day by not showing up right away, but I’ll make him feel even worse if I act exactly the way he’s expecting me to, and he still fails to capture me. That’ll completely demoralize him, and the war will be over before it’s even begun.

More Gifts

I received a some new equipment yesterday. A shiny new sword, an unblemished shield, and most importantly, some new armour. Heavy stuff, that armour is. Nothing like the tattered chainmail I had before. This is head to toe plate mail. My skin is completely covered by this new set. Odd, since Bellij wants me dead. Also odd is Bellij’s choice in colour for this armour. Up until now I have been forced to wear the mustard yellow and black colours of his army, but this new armour is crimson. Not exactly the red and black that I am used to, but eerily similar. I was confused by his gestures until later that day.
We were spotted by some Union scouts yesterday as well. In my new armour, there is no way that they could have recognized me. I believe that Bellij intended for this to happen, as he made no attempt to capture the scouts. Clearly he does not want to reveal my identity just yet. That would be his first reason for giving me the armour. I also believe that he is trying to build me up to be more than I am. If he wanted to mask my identity, he could have just given me a helmet or put me in the back for a while, but instead he gave me all sorts of unnecessary add-ons. My guess is that he is trying to intimidate Kakunaman into waiting a while before entering the battle. It is a crafty move on Bellij’s part, but he seems to be underestimating Kakunaman’s resolve.
In other news, today marks four years since the founding of the Union. I wonder if the God of Beer ever envisioned one of his successors leading an attack on the great Union which he gave his life to create.