Archive for December, 2006

Four Four

I hadn’t originally planned on a Four Four, but there are a few additional details that must be added. Besides, there is always room for a more lighthearted blog every once in a while, am I right?
Now then, as you may or may not have figured out, in addition to Building Four not existing, Buildings One and Two do not exist either. Perfection does not exist, but at the same time, complete imperfection does not exist either. Everything, be it a person, place, or thing, has some goodness in it. For example, while diseases can take away our loved ones, they can also kill insects or other organisms which we are not friendly with. Hitler, while he did plunge the world into war, also, if I’m not mistaken, led Germany into one of the greatest economic periods in it’s history. The Edmonton Oilers serve the purpose of keeping the number of NHL teams even at 30. Even Gary Bettman, who many consider to be the most evil creature to ever walk the face of the earth in 4.6 billion years, has some goodness in him, although admittingly several of NASA’s top scientists have gone mad trying to discover what it is.
But I digress.
Building Three is simply a combination of all the other buildings. Life, like anything else, is not perfect, nor is it entirely imperfect either. Thus, we all reside in some form of Building Three, whether we call this building school, university, or work. The difference between all of our lives is that the hot (hatred), cold (isolation), and room temperature (happiness) come to us in varying quantities.
I personally believe that the best quality of life is achieved in the Building Three that I first described: Hatred and isolation making up about 98% or so of life, perhaps a little more isolation than hatred. The other 2% is happiness.
Why should so little of our lives be happiness? Keep in mind that the 2% I speak of is PURE happiness. Hatred and isolation have small bits of happiness within them since nothing can be entirely imperfect. However, I speak of pure happiness. Pure happiness is more than just the feeling of a Flames win over the Oilers. These are the moments that occur when you are with loved ones, be they friends, family, or anyone else, when while life may not be perfect, it feels that way.
Why would we want this feeling to occur so rarely?
Simply put, desensitization. I have spoken of this before as one of the prime killers of Innocence, and indeed it is. Imagine, if you will, a teenager. She endures a week of school, and on Friday night, she goes somewhere with her friends. Perhaps to the movies, perhaps to the mall, perhaps to a party. Her destination is irrelevant, but what is important is the fact that she does this nearly every week without fail. I say nearly every week because perhaps one week her parents will have made plans to visit her grandmothers house. Now then, what will happen to this teenager when she finds out that her routine has been disrupted? She will bitch about it. She will bitch long, and she will bitch loud. She will bitch to anyone who has ears (or a computer). She will curse the names of her parents for making her have to do the cruel task of visiting family on a Friday night. And why? Not because this particular Friday would have been something special. Sure, it will likely be fun, but it will be just like every other week. Indeed, she has become so used to her Friday night exploits that they have become routine.
People do not like it when you fuck with their routines.
Imagine now, another teenager, perhaps the first one’s friend. Typically she spends her Friday nights in her room, perhaps idolizing or masturbating to the shrine she has to Tom DeLonge, Mark Hoppus, and Travis Barker, considered by many to be the sexiest men on the face of the earth, and formerly part of a band whose music is rumored to have made Cerberus purr.
But I digress.
This teenager tends to stay home on Friday nights. Does this become a routine? Perhaps, but it would be a different type of routine, one to which an interruption would be most welcome. Tell this teenager that Friday night will be spent visiting family, and while there may be murmurs of complaint, such feelings will soon be quelled.
Now perhaps on one particular Friday, teenager1 asks teenager2 to accompany her on whatever outing is scheduled for that night.
Tell me then. Which teenager is likely to have more fun on this Friday night? Which teenager will cherish the memories of this Friday night for years to come? Which teenager will even remember this Friday night two months from now?
Desensitization takes the moments that take your breath away, the moments that make your heart skip a beat, the moments where everything seems perfect, and turns them into an everyday activity, no more exciting or interesting than tying your shoe.
This is why you should strive to live a life containing mainly isolation and hatred. It is difficult for us to change our ways, but those who live this life know and reap its benefits. I can only urge you to fight desensitization; to fight the death of Innocence.
The rest you must do yourself.

Four Three

Here is the explanation.
The buildings represent the sheltered life that we live for around 15-20 years before we are inevitably unleashed into the "Real World"
The heat in Building One represents the hostility that we all face from others during our youthful years. Having everyone being hostile towards you is, of course, the least desirable scenario to find yourself in.
The cold in Building Two represents the isolation that can occur during these years. Sometimes we feel as if others do not know that we exist. Having everyone ignore us entirely is not desirable, but it is better than having everyone hate us.
Building Three varies between less intense versions of Buildings One and Two, combined with some "just right" moments. As such, it is very similar to the "Real World" There will be many who hate you, and many who do not know you, but there will be a few who will come along every once in a while who will become true friends and who will give you memories to cherish for the rest of your life.
Building Four is the most desirable scenario. However, it does not exist. Plain and simple. We all wish that everyone would like us, but it will never happen. Perfection does not exist.
No matter how many times we may deny it, we all act differently in front of different people. Even I do. I try not to, but I still do. The reason for this change in behavior is because we enjoy being liked. As much as some of us would like to deny it, we strive to live in Building Four, and because it doesn’t exist, we all fail in this quest. Some take this failure harder than others, and when it is time to enter the "Real World", these people convince themselves that they are now living in Building Four. If anyone does not like one of these people, there must be something wrong with them, because they see themselves as very likable people. Such people are not able to blame themselves for any of the world’s problems, and are unable to connect themselves personally to any issues not involving their own life.
These are the people who pass by a rose and do not wonder why it is red. These are the people who pass by a tombstone and do not wonder about that man’s legacy. These are the people take life for granted. These are the people who do not think.
The lesson?
Do not become one of these people, my friends. Prepare yourselves for life ouside of the shelter of school, and do not hesitate in trying to save others around you. Do not hesitate in perserving the endangered species of the thinking homo sapien.

Four Two

Which building would you most like to live in?
If you picked the first or second one, you are, quite simply, insane. Or you just like pain and discomfort, in which case you are still insane.
If you picked building three, then you are a little less insane, however you are still insane. Why would you want to be uncomfortable for 30 out of 31 days? All of you who picked building three must have thought that this was a trick question, when really it was not.
If you picked building four, then I deem you to be sane. We would all like to be comfortable all the time. As I feel the air in my own dwelling, I can say that it is much like the environment of building four. It is comfortable, and I do not see any reason to cause myself discomfort by raising or lowering the temperature.
Although there was some disagreement, I personally believe that in our hearts we would all like to live in building four.
However, what we want is not always what is best for us.
Imagine that you had a newborn baby who would live in one of these buildings. This child will not be allowed out of the building for 18 years, at which point he or she would be released into the outside world, and not be allowed back into the building. Which of the four buildings do you think would give the child the greatest chance for survival in the outside world? 

Four One

Once upon a time, on a certain street, there were four empty buildings. Each building was the same size and shape on both the exterior and interior. They had the same number of windows and doors, all located in the same locations. The buildings were absolutely identical in all matters except for one: The interior temperature.
The first building was always too hot inside. Indeed, one would begin to perspire within minutes of being in the building, and after several hours one would be drenched in their own fluids. The heat was not enough to pose a health risk, but it could be incredibly uncomfortable.  The temperature never varied. It never became cooler, but on the other hand, it never became warmer.
The second building was always too cold inside. One could always see his or her own breath inside this building, no matter the time of year, and one would constantly be shivering from the sheer cold. Once again, the cold in this building was not enough to pose a health risk, but it could become quite unpleasant. Much like the first building, the temperature never changed; it was always cold, and it never became warmer or colder inside.
The third building differed from the first two in that the temperature varied on a day to day basis. On some days it would be too warm, and on some days it would be too cold. However, it was never as hot or as cold as the first two buildings were. As well, very rarely, on some days the temperature would be "just right". This was a rare occurance however, as it only happened once every month or two.
The fourth building, much like the first two, had a constant temperature. Inside, it was always room temperature. One could stay inside this building indefinitely, and never become uncomfortable.
Now tell me. Which of these four buildings would you most like to live in, and which would you least like to live in?

Love vs. Perfection

For ages, the wisest men of the world have sought one thing. It is the most important, and perhaps the most complex thing that has ever existed. Indeed, it has become the purpose of The Union to discover this one thing. Our purpose is not to find love. Our purpose is not to discover what love feels like. Our purpose is to discover, quite simply, what love is.

Over thousands of years, scholars, celebrities, and the ordinary man have pondered upon this question, and yet none has ever been able to offer more than a guess on the answer.  

In my youth, about a year ago, I stumbled upon a text which seemed to answer the question exactly. This text is a fairly well known one, attributed to St. Paul who wrote to the people of Corinth, and it runs thusly:


"Love is long suffering, love is kind, it is not jealous, love does not boast, it is not inflated. It is not discourteous, it is not selfish, it is not irritable, it does not enumerate the evil. It does not rejoice over the wrong, but rejoices in the truth. It covers all things, it has faith for all things, it hopes in all things, it endures in all things. Love never falls in ruins." 1 Corinthians 13.4-8


Now then, this seems to capture exactly what love is by telling the reader what love is not. 

At the time, I didn’t give it much thought. Recently, however, I heard this passage again, and this time I stopped to analyze it, and I realized that it could not possibly be true.

St. Paul tells us that love is not envious, arrogant, inflated, rude, selfish, irritable, or resentful. He removes all imperfections from it, and thus, according to St. Paul, love is perfect.

As I grew older, I learned to accept the idea that love is perfect. After all, it is something that the entire world desires to some extent, and those who have experienced it have only good to say about it.



And yet, this brings up a conflict. Namely, the accepted fact that perfection does not exist. I don’t believe that there is any disagreement on this matter, because when asked whether or not perfection exists, the nearly unanimous (save for one very optimistic dissentient) response was:

α ι c ε . says:                                           cpt=\ Melissa. 102306;ily ZackerySpurrell. says:                          


 i dont think so                                                                                        

*Iggy City* says:                                             ––––•(-•Jølënë•-)•–––– says:   

Perfection = Pure-Fiction                                 There’s no such thing as perfection.  
Pure- absolute
Fiction- imagination


So, we are all in agreement that perfection does not exist, yet everyone seems to believe that St. Paul’s definition is the definitive answer to the question: What is love?


Evidently there is a conflict here. The theory that love is perfect vs. the theory that perfection does not exist.


There is support for both sides of this debate.

On one hand, some would argue that The Powers that Be, whether you refer to them as God, Allah, Yahweh, Brahman or anything else, are perfect, and the simple fact that they exist points to the fact that perfection does exist, and thus love is perfect.

Supporters of the other side would counter that no one feels for each other as St. Paul suggests. Indeed, I myself do not know of anyone who is in a relationship where there is no jealousy, or resentfulness, or any of the aforementioned imperfections. Every relationship that I have seen is tainted in some way, and so it could be argued that perfect does not exist.


Both sides have support that appears to be impossible to disprove.

And yet both sides cannot be right…


…Or can they?


What if perfect does not exist in this world, it only exists in the Beyond? And what if love truly IS perfect?

Could it be possible that we are incapable of truly experiencing love while on the earth?



Could it be possible that love does not exist?


The Problem With Fame

I have no illusions of grandeur. This site (and I hesitate to even call it a site… tis but an MSN space) doesn’t have hundreds of readers. It does not even have ten readers. Five is probably a good number to use, although only two or three tend to comment (I love seeing comments… Have I mentioned that?).  Obviously, even with the infinite power of the Internet at my disposal, my message does not reach very far. Well, geographically, it reaches quite far, but it does not reach many people. The funny thing about my sparse collection of readers is that of the 5 or so that stop by regularly, I only knew one before this space was created. The other four all met me (or I met them) through random MSN space encounters. Clicking on that Updated Spaces list does wonders. I do not advertise this space at all, nor is there word of mouth between and others to attract new readers. Therefore, the number of people who see my blogs remains small.

I am personally intimate with every one of my readers. Now, I do not mean intimate as in being close to each and every one of them. The fact that serveral live thousands of kilometres away prevents that. What I mean is that I speak to them regularly, I visit their spaces and view their blogs and I comment there. I am friends, however distant, with all of these people.

Here is the problem with fame:

Suppose a certain artist (Let’s call him Daniel) has 200,000 fans. Some are more obsessive than others, but all 200,000 admire his work. Now then, let’s assume that one out of every 1000 fans sends him an e-mail on any given day. Thats about one e-mail sent by every fan every 2 3/4 years or so. Not an insane exaggeration by any standards. Doing the math, Daniel receives 200 emails per day, mostly from people telling him how awesome he is. Does Daniel have time to answer these? Of course not. But some of the emails may have some small amount of substance to them.
"Hey Daniel, I was just wondering… when’s your next piece was coming out?"
"Hello Daniel! I really admire your work, and I was wondering if you could tell me where you get your inspiration from."
Even something as simple as "Hey Daniel, how was your day?" may be sent in an e-mail to him.
Now then, in my entire lifetime, I have sent 5 such letters/e-mails, each containing a question for the recipient.
3 of them received no reply.
1 of them received a copy and paste reply, not unlike: "Dear <insert name here> Thank you for being a fan of <insert name here> for so long. Your support is important to us. <insert fan appriciation crap here>. Remember <insert name here>, without your support, <insert name here> could not be what it is today. Thank you". Which is great and all, except for the fact that I asked them a question.
The last one received a two word reply,"Probably not.", Which would have been great except my question required more than a yes/no response.
Now then, back to our good friend Daniel.
Of the 200 emails he receives daily, perhaps only 10 contain any substance whatsoever. Also not an insane exaggeration, if you’ve seen the myspaces of such people. I’d say around 95% of the comments are merely telling the person to add them as a friend, or thanking them for adding them as a friend, and telling them how awesome they are. That’s perfectly fine. I can understand Daniel not having the time (or patience) to reply to 190 e-mails telling him how great he is. I would get bored too, typing out "Thank you very much" 190 times. However, there is no reason why he should not reply to the 10 e-mails which ask him a question. Any time one of you (as in you, the people who read this) asks me a question, I respond. Unless it is a question involving something I’d rather not reveal, in which case I STILL respond and tell you that I’d rather not reveal the answer.
Now then, Daniel also gains 2,000 new fans every year, primarily because his fans speak to other people and tell them how great he is.
2,000 people. That’s quite a few. Under normal circumstances, how many friends would Daniel make out of these 2,000 people? How many of them would share similar interests with him? I will take a low estimate and say 100 of them. That’s 100 people who Daniel, under normal circumstances, would have become good friends with.
But alas, these are not normal circumstances. Daniel is on a podium above 200,000 people. This is not school or work where you can simply approach someone to start a conversation (and thus a friendship) with them. The only way for 1 of these 100 people to get Daniel’s attention over the crowd of 200,000 is to send him an e-mail telling him that the person thinks that he/she and Daniel could become great friends. This sounds silly, but when you think about it, it is entirely true. Unless you are on a podium yourself, it is nearly impossible to get Daniel’s attention, and the only way of doing it is to be blunt and honest. Of course, when Daniel reads your e-mail, he believes you to be a crazy obsessive fanboy, and you get no response, when all you wanted to do was talk to the guy and be friends.
Therein lies the problem with fame:
Anyone can tell the world that his or her fans are the most important thing to them, but as someone gains more and more fans, they are raised higher and high on their podium in order to be able to see them all, and as they get higher and higher, suddenly they can no longer see the individual people, just a big mass of flesh that loves them.