Archive for November, 2006


The Saddest Thing Ever.

The saddest thing ever is a man, whether he is evil or just, who realizes that he is defeated.
 
A man who looks around him and sees only enemies, as his friends have all been slaughtered before his eyes. This man has lost everything. His house, his family, his weapons. He has no way to escape. Enemies to his left, enemies to his right. He cannot fly, nor can he burrow underground. He finally comprehends the terrible position that he is in. There is no way out for this man, and perhaps it was like this for a long time. Perhaps he has been surrounded by enemies his entire life, and never realized it until this moment. Perhaps this is a man who has devoted his entire life to perserving the good in the world, and now he finds himself confronted with an evil that he cannot overcome.
 
Regardless of how he came into this situation, the man has no hope left.
 
 
He has given his entire being towards a cause. He has given as much effort as he possibly could. He has done his best for a cause that is of the most importance to him. And he realizes that despite every precaution he has taken, despite the countless hours of meticulous planning and difficult labour he has gone through, he has lost the battle.
 
The man falls to his knees, bows his head, and raises his arms, surrendering himself to whatever force it is that opposes him, giving himself up to his worst enemy.
 
This is truly the very saddest thing ever.

The Perfect Attitude

What can be be done to develop the perfect attitude?
 
 
I was asked this question earlier today, and it sparked some thought in my head. So I gathered my own thoughts, and some thoughts from others, and here’s what I’ve come up with.
 
 
A perfect attitude. Attitude. Your attitude is affected by your perspective on life. Therefore, a perfect attitude equals a perfect perspective on life.
 
A perfect attitude. Perfect. Something perfect must be void of all negativity. Everything that makes you feel bad must not exist for your attitude to be perfect. Therefore, all the faggots of the world who piss you off must be eliminated.
 
If all the faggots of the world are eliminated, everyone would be on good terms with you. No one would ever disagree with you on anything.
 
 
The problem with this is that it is impossible. No human can ever have a perfect perspective on life; it is against our nature. Even the most devout optimist will see some trace of negativity in his or her life. The only way for someone to have a truly perfect perspective on life is if their life IS perfect. And no one has a perfect life.
 
No matter what, there will always be faggots to piss you off. No matter how much power you have, you will never be able to eliminate every faggot on the planet. Hitler had power over a massive army, and yet he was only able to eliminate 6 million of his personal demons. For the rest of us, the task of getting rid of the fuckheads is even more impossible. It cannot be done.
 
No matter how hard you try, you will ALWAYS end up disappointing someone, no matter what you do, no matter how careful you are. Someone WILL disagree with you, and you WILL let someone down. In turn, the knowledge that you have let someone down will bring YOU down.
 
 
The perfect attitude? It doesn’t exist. Not in this world anyways.
 
 
 
Ten thousand lightyears away, there is a planet. Every inhabitant of this planet is a 5 feet tall green blob. There is no religion on this planet. There is no clothing on this planet. Every house looks identical. There is no school. The blobs are born with exactly the same viewpoints as every other blob. No blobs hate each other, but they don’t like each other either. Every blob wakes up at the same time and does the exact same job as every other blob, day after day. Then they go home and sleep.
 
 
The planet is named "Perfect", and all its inhabitants have the perfect attitude.

Fizzle

s3c0ndh4nd has informed me that after a long debate, terms have finally been settled upon. The terms of the agreement are not to be disclosed, but I am certain that you shall see them soon enough. The war is a mere fizzle. That is all.

Second Thoughts

A dream came to me two nights ago.
 
 
In it, a terrorist-supporting nation went to war with a noble nation over a small dispute over land. The allies of both nations also went to war. Other neutral nations were also dragged into the dispute as well, and the war eventually consumed the entire world. One side eventually claimed victory, but by the end of the war there was virtually no difference between the evil nation and the nobel one, and the land they were fighting over had become so ravaged by the war that it was not anything worth fighting over.
 
 
Comrades, this war must end before it begins. We are not guarenteed a victory, and even if we do win the war, we will lose our identity.  
 
If Liberty is so discontent that he is willing to go to war over the issue, then we must be something wrong as well. I have recognized the need for reform for a while, but I have never seen how the reform would manifest itself. Pehaps Liberty will have some ideas on that subject.
 
I will be departing for Liberty’s camp at once. Wish me luck.

War Council

In a room deep within the temple, 5 people have gathered. They are s3c0ndh4nd, Kakunaman, the apostle, the Screwup, and the God of Beer. The doors and windows to the room are locked, and discussion begins.
 
s3h: "Friends, I have gathered you here in order to discuss this Declaration of War that we have received. I have already deemed it to be a legitimate document, coming directly from Liberty. There is no reason to doubt the threat that Freedom presents to The Union. They have been discontent with our actions since the God of Beer’s days, and the recent betrayal by the alliance of those who we thought were comrades would be enough to push them over the edge. The first issue that I present to you is this: Do we attempt to negotiate a peaceful solution to this problem, or do we go straight to war? I leave this to a vote. When asked, state either "War" or "No war", and then explain your reasoning. As leader of The Union, I have the first vote. I say War, because it is clear that Freedom will not be pursuaded to change their mind. They have already begun to mobilize their troops, and every second we spend discussing this gives them an extra second to prepare their attack. That is why we must go to war immediately. Now, I would ask for the Screwup’s opinion on the matter."
 
Scr: "No war. I was wounded in two wars in my day, and thus I have come to believe that there are better ways to solve issues than through war. Besides, our soldiers lack the training that theirs do, and I doubt that we could train them in time for the beginning of hostilities."
 
s3h: "Very well then. Apostle? Your opinion?"
 
Apo: "No war. I am opposed to violence in general, and a war is about as bad as violence gets. I do not want to see anyone suffer."
 
s3h: "Kakunaman?"
Kak: "War. I have the greatest experience in war of anyone here. I know that we can win this war. Our troops may lack the training that theirs do, but we far outnumber them. We can train our soldiers. They cannot make new ones appear out of thin air. We have the advantage."

s3h: "God of Beer, the deciding vote is yours."

 
GoB: "My friends, I have long been known to be a pacifist. I have never lashed out in anger against anyone, and never intentionally injured another human. Now, there are enemies who wish to destroy The Union, the organization I gave my life to establish. My friends, we will go to war. We will fight, and we will defeat Freedom. Our very way of life is at stake, and I personally will not permit it to be overrun."
 
s3h: "The vote is decided. War it is. Now comes the assignment of responsibilities. As there are only 5 of us, some of us will have to take up mulitple responsibilities. Firstly, Kakunaman, you will be in charge of leading our forces in battle, as well as the training of our troops. Apostle, you will be in charge of tending to injured troops. Screwup, you are in charge of spreading propaganda. God of Beer, you will advise me on tactical matters. I will be in charge of tactics and directing where and when attacks will occur."
 
Kak: "Comrades, this war is, in a way, a good thing. It will unmask who our true comrades are, and who only pretends to be our comrade. There can be no neutrality in this war, as any who remain neutral will be subject to suspicion by both sides. And now I ask you, whoever reads this: Will you fight for The Union, or against The Union?
 

Declaration of War

Hello. My name is Liberty.
 
 
I am the leader of Freedom, a group of individuals who have dedicated ourselves to looking after the best interests of the Host. It has come to our attention that The Union has again been betrayed by its closest comrades. s3c0ndh4nd has failed time and time again to verify who are his comrades and who are his enemies, and we feel that we have put up with too much. The Union has wasted years upon what is clearly a lost cause. The God of Beer’s establishing of The Union was the greatest mistake that the Host has ever seen. He gave his life in vain, to create a sham of an organization doomed to failure. Now is the time for change.
 
 
We are officially declaring a state of war against The Union. We will destroy it and seize control of the Host, in order to create a better life for all. Enough time has been wasted already.