Archive for August, 2006


Kakunaman’s Promise

Mates…
 
 
s3c0ndh4nd attempted suicide a few days ago. He was found unconcious in his own room. Fortunatly we were able to find him in time and give him immediate medical attention. He has been put on a 24 hour suicide watch, but there is nothing else that the doctors could do for him.
 
 
This has gone on long enough… The Infection has lived freely for too long. That ends tonight. I have with me the information that s3c0ndh4nd wrote down about The Infection. Tonight I shall slay the source, or die trying. It is time for me to once again face my old enemy…
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The Madness of s3c0ndh4nd

HAHAHAHA! I know everything! Its all so clear to me now… The Infection has been around a lot longer than the Screwup… he didn’t create it. Hehehehe… everything…
 
everything was… it was all for that beast… Its a beast… Everything the Union ever did… It was only to feed it.. to make it stronger… Now it has come to claim us… to take control… to seize the Union itself and turn it into something evil..
 
It’s taken me… taking control of me… Yes… yes…
 
But… With The Infection so close to me… I can study it… I am becoming part of it now… and since I am becoming part of it, I know everything about it…
 
 
I am becoming part of it…
I am becoming part of it…
The Infection… my enemy…
Will claim me for its own. Killing me, and seizing my vessel. Destroying the Union in one swift move.
 
 
 
Hahahaha… I hear voices… The Screwup and God of Beer are talking to me…
 
 
They…
 
Everything they did has been in vain too… No…
I will die… but the Union will live on… I cannot let the work of my friends go in vain…
 
Let it be known that s3c0ndh4nd gave his life to save the Union…
I will write everything I know down, so that some day… Somewhere someone new will arise and slay the Infection… but for that to happen I cannot let my body become corrupt…
 
hehehehe… look at these…
 
pills.
 
Lots and lots of pills… Little white ones…
 
Perhaps I should have one…
 
or two…
or five…
or ten…
 
Yes… 10 will do…
 
10 pretty little white pills for me. For the Union.
 
1…
2…
3…
4…
5…
6…
7…
8…
9…
10…
 
10 Pills.
 
 
Now let me rest… Destiny awaits…
 
 
I’m sorry…
 

More… MORE!

Have you come for me yet? Or will you torture me a while longer? Infection… I have watched you consume everyone who was once my friend, one by one. One by one you corrupted them, as I watched helplessly. Now, after all that you have taken away from me, all the pain you have caused me, you would take my life too? You truly are a beast…
 
 
 
My flesh is incredibly corrupted now… I rarely see the bounds of sanity anymore… My friends have left me… and this is all your doing…
 
 
But I can promise you one thing: My soul is intact. As long as my deepest self remains alive, you will never kill me. My body may waste away, but I shall live on… And I will research everything about you until my final breath, because I know that somehow, somewhere, someone will avenge me, and vanquish you.
 
You can cut off my resources, make me miserable, and take from me what I need to live… but you will NEVER get the better of me. Never…

More and More…

Heh heh… I see what’s happening here…
 
The Infection… it’s some sort of beast almost… it lives, and its only purpose is to corrupt the goodness inside of people… It feeds off us, consumes us and turns us into something else, completely void of light…  The Infection remains inside of those who it infects, and then from these people it can spread. hehehe….
 
The source must be cut off… If the source can be cut off, then the rest of The Infection that resides in the hearts of others will eventually be destroyed… For those that have already been corrupted there may be no cure… 
 
But there is something else… this is a new, more powerful strain of Infection I am dealing with… not only does it wish to drive me insane, but it wishes to kill me as well… I don’t have a great deal of time left, and already my mental capacity is not what it should be… I hope this is not my final message to you, but if it is, then I apologize for everything and everything I have done wrong… and I promise that I will be watching you from up above. Rest assured, my friends… I will fight this until the very end. Wish me luck…
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

The Infection Grows

The black winds blow, and the Pale Rider mounts his steed. The Infection continues to grow, and more and more people are countinually poisoned by it. It pains me so to see so many of those I hold near and dear to me succumb to this all-consuming plague.
 
Today, however, something new happened. The Infection attacked me.
 
 
 
Already I can feel the evil energy pulsing throughout my body. Fear not though, my friends. The Infection is not strong yet within my body. Some good does come out of this situation as well. With The Infection in my body, I will be able to study its effects far more closely and accurately than ever before. Already I have discovered some important facts about the Infection that will hopefully lead to finding a way to purge this plague from the earth forever.
 
I have discovered that there is a single source that initially spread The Infection. If this source could be eliminated, then no new victims could become infected.
 
As for curing the victims who have already been infected, this may be impossible. If there is a way to cure The Infection, then the secret is closely guarded by the source.
 
I have no other information for now, but I suspect that I will learn much more very soon. This is only the tip of the iceberg.

The Week-Ending

I have returned, my friends.
 
Here are my findings:
 
 
Being away for the week was a different experience. I found that in the beginning it was difficult to stay away from this reality. The temptation was high at first to give up and return here. However, after about two days, the temptation faded. I completely left this reality for a new one. I spent my time going new places and learning new things. Along the way, I met a few new friends, who have commented some earlier blogs. Those of you who know me well know that I don’t make friends easily.
During this week, I met as many friends as I usually do in a year.
 
It was most certainly a good experience for me, and a fun one as well. However, I would not want to remain in an alternate reality forever. As fun as it was, I began to miss friends and my old reality by the final day. What’s the point of meeting new people in an alternate reality if you can’t get to know them better in your own reality?
 
Friends, here is my challenge to you: For 2 days, do not sign onto MSN, do not make plans with friends, and do not leave the house unless absolutely necessary. Spend time on the Internet. Go to random MSN spaces, or Myspaces. I promise you that you will find at least one person who has similar interests, and who will become your friend.
 
I enjoyed the week thouroughly, and it ended just in time. Will I try this again? Definitely, but not for a long while. s3c0ndh4nd is happy to be home. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
I’m not even going to ASK what Kak did here… I knew he would try something, but I didn’t think even HE could mastermind changing the entire layout of MSN spaces, and turning it into "Windows Live Spaces"
 
Now then, where has the "Publish" button gone…
 
 
 
 
At the top? What were you thinking?!?

That was fast:|

Damn mates, a week goes by much quicker when there’s no E3 eh?
 
Tonight at midnight, the week ends, and s3c0ndh4nd will be back.
 
 
 
BUT
 
 
 
Don’t expect him right at midnight. You see, a random trip to Niagara Falls was set up today by the old man. I haven’t the faintest idea why he does this, since no one enjoys these trips. A complete waste of time and effort.
 
Either way, he likes to go early and come back late to get in as much "family bonding time" as possible, even though half the time is spent asking "Can we go home yet?"
 
 
The point is mates, you may not hear from s3c0ndh4nd tonight, but he will see you in the morning. As for myself, I’m out. I will see you all again in May, Or sooner, if s3c0ndh4nd goes on another search thingy for the meaning of life or some other shit like that.
 
Kakunaman out.
Aye.
 

So we got up to the part where I left The Agency for Kroc.
 
So during this time, I was Kroc’s number 2. Yes, she was younger, but her experience in this field was 10 times what mine was. She taught me everything that she knew. Her technique was to kill the group from the INSIDE, by first becoming part of it, gaining the trust of the other members, and using that to our advantage. "Trust is a powerful weapon when misused", she said. Kroc and I took on several smaller groups in this way, including "The Smart Idiots" and "The Pirate Islanders". As we took on and tore apart more groups, my skill increased, until I was nearly on the same level as Kroc.
 
But one day…
 
 
 
Me and Kroc were in the middle of our biggest project yet, operation "laughordie". It wasn’t going as smoothly as most of our other operations, but we had managed to avoid the mods and stay clean. Then I received an ominous e-mail from Kroc. It said something along the lines of "If something happens to me, I want you to finish this mission for me."
 
It would be the last thing she ever said to me. The next day, Kroc was gone. Caught by the admins. Mods are one thing… they can at least be negotiated with, but the admins are cold hearted, iron fisted beasts. Fearful for myself, I opted to abort mission.
 
Truly, this was my darkest hour. My leader gone, and I had chosen to be a coward and to flee. I soon realised what I had done. I had betrayed someone who had meant more to me than anyone else on earth. For 60 days I lamented the loss of my leader. Then I came to a desicion. I knew I had 3 options. I could give up on life. I could mourn the loss of Kroc forever, or I could do something about it.
 
I knew somehow that Kroc was displeased with me right now. Not only for not finishing the mission, but also for mourning her for so long. I decided then and there to do something about this.
 
Then and there I swore revenge upon the mods and admins. I would make them pay for taking away my leader, comrade, and my only friend…
 
I didn’t know how I would do this though. The mods and admins are untouchable, much like a God figure. Reluctantly, I realised that revenge upon the mods and admins would have to wait. Right then it was more important to avenge my fallen leader.
 
By some odd twist of fate, a few days later I was invited to join a group who called themselves "The Dream Assassins" I realised that this would be an excellent group to destroy in Kroc’s honour, and so I joined. I was slightly dismayed when I saw that this group had 20 members. The largest group me and Kroc had ever attempted to take down, was "Laugh or Die", which contained 12 members, and we were unsuccessful. Nonetheless, I decided I could do this, and that I MUST do this, for Kroc’s sake. Immediately I began to gain the trust of the leader of this group, a shady character I knew only as Master S. After about 2 months in this organization, I noticed a female in the group who seemed less than interested in the well being of the group. Her name was Nadeschda. Deciding that I needed an accomplice, I told her that I planned to destroy the group, and I asked her if she would like to join me. Fortunatly, she decided to help me.
 
Both me and Nadeschda continued gaining the trust of Master S. Within two months, Master S gave Nadeschda a position of power in Dream Assassins. At this point I decided to test how much Master S would trust my judgement. I asked him to remove certain members from the group. To my surprise, he complied, and the group of 20 became a group of 10 overnight. To show my loyalty to the group, I recruited new members, and the group was returned to 22 members. At this time, Master S bestowed upon me the 2nd highest position of power. I now had power equal to that of Master S’, and was now in perfect position to abuse it. However, I decided to wait a few weeks so that I would not abuse my power too early. After a few weeks I decided to set my plan into motion. I gave my infamous sermon at this point, which sadly has been lost over time. Then, I removed 17 of the 22 members, including myself, from the group. Several members decided to return, but some didn’t. The group was down to 16 people by the morning. Then I had Nadeschda, who was still in the group, stir up some trouble among the remaining members, accusing them of being my associate, and asking S to remove them from the group. As well I would pop my head into the group every once in a while to cause more trouble. This lasted 6 more days, but by then, the group was at each other’s throats. Master S decided that it was no longer worth it, and he himself left the group. By morning, "Dream Assassins" was no more. I had avenged my leader Kroc, and all was at peace.
 
I formally retired from the business of destroying friendships after Dream Assassins. Kroc had been avenged, and for some reason I no longer felt like tearing hearts apart.
 
 
I realised that maybe friendship wasn’t such a bad thing after all. Beyond anything, Kroc had been my friend. It had felt good to have someone genuinely care about my well-being. I suppose that the only reason I scorned friendships in my youth was because I had never had any friends. Kroc had been taken from me so suddenly… I didn’t like that feeling at all, and yet I knew that for the past year I had been causing other people to feel that way. I didn’t regret spending most of my life hurting people, but at the same time, I had changed. I saw friendship in a new light.
 
 
My life’s work was done at this point, and I decided to settle down into a nice, relatively quiet retirement. To this day, I still wonder about where Kroc is, and how she’s doing. Alas, I know I will never speak to her again…
 
 
*end*

How did I die?

 
 
That, my friends, is a story for another day.
Not today.
Perhaps in May.
Kakunaman is out,
and you are all gay.
Cheers.

The Life of Kakunaman

Alright comrades. So you wanna know my story? Then listen up. And if you should happen to doze off, I will personally rend you limb from limb and eat your liver, alright? Good, I’m glad we’re clear on that.
 
Now then.
 
I was born on the 3rd of July, 2003. Back in those days, the world was one hell of a lot less hectic than it is today. In my youth, I was always different than everyone else. I was never concerned with whether people liked me or not, or what they thought about how I looked or what I did with my life. I remember vividly that I hated seeing friendships between people. Two or more people doing things together, having fun… Bah, the thought of it made me sick. Seeing people happy made me unhappy. Therefore, I decided early on that in order to assure my happiness, I would do everything in my power to assure that other people weren’t happy. That in itself was easy to figure out. What was more difficult, however, was to figure out HOW to achieve this. Clearly there was no way I could destroy groups of people in person. I soon realized that the Internet was the perfect base for all my operations. However, there was a second problem: I was one person. The friendships I looked to destroy were made up of about 5 people. Needless to say, I was vastly outnumbered. I knew that I would need help.
 
 
Then I found The Agency. This was an online organization devoted to the task of tearing apart groups of people. As a member of The Agency, I would be protected from the mods and the admins, but I would have to stick to preforming the tasks that The Agency wanted done, and would not be allowed to do whatever task I wanted. "How perfect", I thought. Minutes later I was the newest member of The Agency.
 
 
About a month into my work in The Agency, I was approached by a female about 2 years younger than myself. Her name was Kroc. She told me that she has seen that I had enormous potential, and she requested that I be her accomplice. After debating this in my head for a short time, I decided to go with Kroc, and leave the protective grasp of The Agency. If things went wrong with Kroc, I knew I could always return to The Agency for protection.
 
Ironically, one night, about 5 months later, admins stormed The Agency. Many of those who I considered my comrades were lost, and by the morning, The Agency had been wiped from the face of the earth.
 
 
 
No mates, that’s not all. Tomorrow I will write down part 2 for your reading pleasure. Till then, Kak is out.
 
 

Whoa…

Oi!
 
Well, Welcome to Windows Live Spaces, I guess… 
 
Decent look I guess… But GEEZ I’m gonna have trouble explaning THIS one to s3h when he gets back… Good God!:|
 
 
 
 
Anyways, lets get to the real stuff.
 
There’s no E3 this time around, so you might be wondering what Ol Kakunaman is gonna be talking about until Sunday.
Well quite frankly I haven’t the faintest idea either… but I’ll think of something… Maybe I’ll give a more accurate version of my life story or something, maybe something else will come into my head… Kak is out for now.
 
 
Now wheres the "Publish" button on this damned thing?
 
 
…Wtf? at the top? Brilliant…