Archive for May, 2006

Our Avatarian friend knew where I was going with this, it seems.
That is precisely our problem.
Desensitizing is the process of making someone less sensitive to something by letting them get used to it.
In trivial matters, this sort of thing can be good.
Getting used to a cold pool by going in slowly desensitizes yourself to the coldness, and you don’t feel it as much, right?
But what if we became desensitized to more important, powerful things?

What if we became desensitized to death? Burying bodies by the thousands without a single thought or prayer.

What if we became desensitized to drugs? No one would give a thought to how ecstasy might affect an 8 year old.
What if we became desensitized to crime? Theft? Rape? Murder? Go ahead. No one would care.
Imagine we became desensitized to certain emotions. Imagine we became so used to feeling a certain way that we didn’t notice it anymore. So used to the emotion that we didn’t even know what it was anymore.
What if we became desensitized to happiness? Envy? Passion? Hatred? Sadness? The effects of any of those scenarios would be catastrophic to say the least.
But what if we became desensitized to love?
And now you say to yourselves "Surely s3c0ndh4nd has gone mad. He imagines things that could never happen in a million years."
Couldn’t it though?
Isn’t it already happening?
As with all catastrophes, it begins in a small way.
How would any of you define the word "love"?
It wasn’t long ago that there were only two ways to define it:
A strong feeling of attraction towards another person.
A score of zero in tennis.
Now, looking at my dictionary, I see 11 different definitions.
Each new one becomes less and less strong of a feeling.
We start out at the original "A very strong attraction"
and go down to "A strong liking"
and further down to "something eliciting enthusiasm"
It wasn’t long ago that the word love was only used in tennis, church, and between married couples and their kids.
Now we can freely say "I love my new shirt"
Some people even have the nerve to say "I love him/her so fucking much, you wouldn’t believe!" when they’ve known the person for only a few days.
And now many of us have been conditioned to believe that love equates to sex. Once you love someone, you are ready to have sex with them.
Too bad none of those people know what love is.
Do you know any single mothers? Don’t feel TOO much pity for them.
Take the time now, if you will, to scroll down a bit and take another look at part one of this entry. Read it over again, then return here.
Love has committed no crime. Thus love is Innocent.
Less and less of the kids laugh each time, as they are being desensitized to this new concept.
So tell me.
Which of the three examples (exclude the gr. 5 example)  is closest to love?
The answer is obviously the first one, Grade 6. The kids who danced barely touching each other, well aware of the fact that everyone was laughing at them, loved each other far more than anyone else.
Anyone remember being 4 years old?
I don’t very well.
But I remember my mom.
To me back then, she was perfect.
She could do no wrong.
She loved me even I misbehaved.
This was the case for many of us when we were 4 years old.
Did you see your mom as perfect being this young?
And now, growing up, we have all realised that parents aren’t invincible, and that they can indeed be wrong.
But when we love someone and their love is returned, that perfection is restored.
Love is the reason that at 4 years old we all saw our mothers as the most beautiful woman on earth. To us, she was perfect.
It is love that creates this image of perfection.
But alas, with so many people forgetting what love is, it is likely that pure and true love will be erased from this planet forever eventually.
And so the gears are in motion for our demise.
Already we have begun to forget what love is.
Already we associate love with inanimate objects and sex.
And once Innocence has breathed its last, we as the human race will cease to function. We will descend into savagery, and be no better than wild beasts.
Its not a question of "can we stop it?"
Its a question of "will we stop it?"
Will YOU stop it?

The death of Innocence

A little prelude here? Yes.
Consider if you will, the function of a pillow. Usually a good place to rest your head, provided it hasn’t been stuffed with an anvil or weapons grade plutonium.
All unlikely circumstances aside, just consider a normal pillow. Good place to rest your head, fairly reliable, fairly sturdy under normal conditions of use (excluding pillow fights).
Imagine a man who decides to kill himself by jumping from a 30 story window. Does the man regret it near the end of his fall? Does he fall 10 stories and then wish he hadn’t? Does he fall 20 stories and pray that there’s a truck carrying 1000’s of pillows beneath him?
Does someone hanging themselves try to save themselves once it’s too late?
It’s not always possible to undo stupid things you do.
Then you just have to pray that the Powers That Be put that matress truck underneath you.
The death of innocence?
When did that happen?
Anyone remember grade 5?
I do quite clearly.
We were quite young then.
I remember the first time they taught us about sex.
We all said "ew!"
And everyone laughed.
Anyone remember grade 6?
I do quite clearly. 
We were quite young then.
I remember the first time a boy and a girl danced together.
They stood two feet apart and were barely touching each other.
And almost everyone laughed.
Anyone remember grade 7?
I do quite clearly.
We were quite young then.
I remember the first time boys began to ask girls out.
Announcements of who liked who were broadcast throughout the class.
And half the class laughed.
Anyone remember grade 8?
I do quite clearly.
We were quite young then.
I remember the first time a boy fingered a girl.
They denied it of course, but everyone knew.
And a few people laughed.
Now we’re near the end of grade 9.
Has anyone noticed what’s been happening these past few years?
I have.
Its normal you say? Of course it is. It’s the normal process of life isn’t it? Nothing wrong at all.
An 11 year old girl in Britain has been smoking 20 cigarettes a day since she was 9. She began drinking excessively at the age of 10. She’s pregnant, but she still does all those things.
Her mom?
Her mom is proud of her daughter.
But it’s the normal process of life, right?
Can someone now tell me where along this line Innocence dies?

Bring it back.

"Bring it back" was indeed one of the saddest things I’ve ever seen, and it really woke a lot of people up.
Fitting I use it here.
So me and Kak never really got along well. He was always TOO immature, even for me, he has a weird way of speaking, and what he did in his life isn’t something I’d be so proud of…
But geez, the guy can be smart when he wants.
That last blog WAS a bit of a wake up call.
So here’s what I learned in my week away:
1. A lot of my problems were my fault, and entirely preventable.
2. Kak has some skillz with writing:| who knew?
3. "Comrade" is a DAMN sweet word, I should use it more often.
4. It ain’t just the God of Beer and the Screwup up there.
5. I think I’ve gotta talk to the apostle again…
6. Ignoring problems tends to make them go away… at least until you hear the familiar MSN chime, and see the orange flashing at the bottom of the screen.
7. Theres a dude who calls himself "secondhand serenade" Good music too I must say. Check him out.
k, so basically here’s what I’m thinking:
No one REALLY belongs to a large group of 10+ people unless they try.
Let’s face it, you can fit in with a group of maybe up to 6 or 7 friends AT THE MOST, but after that, you’re going to hate some people within the group. It’s natural. Either that, or you change your behavior within the group, so YOU aren’t the one being hated. I figure that there’s no way I’m going to be able to fit in with 1000 people, most of whom are nothing like me, unless I make some serious effort.
Effort+s3c0ndh4nd? I think we all know the line by now…
And so fuck it. It takes effort to make new friends? Fuck it.
It takes effort to hang on to old friends?
NOT fuck it. pourwhy? Cuz I made those who I have with no effort. Must mean they’re good friends, and thus worth my valuable, but scarace, effort.
Just remember kiddies: Broken glass often tastes like blood.
s3c0ndh4nd is out.

Kak’s Final Blog

Alright comrades. I’ve got time before I go to deliver the one final blog i promised ye. And this one isn’t video game related.
Wow. Its been one helluva week.
 This year has been different from the 2 other years I’ve been back here. Mainly because of this whole "blog" thingy, I’m able to share my mostly unbiased opinions with everyone, allowing shame to come to Sony even moreso than my usual public ranting.
More than that though, this year has given me the opportunity to meet people that I’d only ever heard about before. I got to see what a day in the life of s3c0ndh4nd is like. It was something new and exciting, but most of all it was fun.
Actually, after the first few days I was almost mad at s3h for griping so much about the "infection" and everything he has to put up with. Honestly. I couldn’t see anything wrong here.
Meh… poetry was never really my thing but I figured i’d give it a shot.
I dream of completion
of days when the tank’s depletion
is met with elation
and this station of masturbation and procrastination
can finally begin its cessation
Those old days were good
We had fun, yeah
But the work got done.
Just squirm and punk your way out of every funk you get yourself in
But take some of them with you.
Fuck what they say,
Take ’em along
Whalin and
Whining and
Flailing and
denying what they did
cuz some-
And I stopped writing right there.
Cuz then I saw the infection s3h spoke of for myself.
Maybe its because I was so busy with E3 and the Snak’s communion and the like, but I didn’t see the infection until then.
And I thought: Holy shit, this thing’s huge:|
and, mates, its only getting bigger. Everyday it seems, more and more people are lost to it. Every day a little more of the G.O.D. is sucked into that infinite void. That’s when I saw that s3h actually does have it pretty tough. He’s got a ton to deal with, and he’s slowly losing his resources. Damn that’s tough.
In a way, I guess I was kind of like an infection back in my time. I betrayed friends, I sold people out, all for that little buzz of satisfaction from seeing a whole group of people who used to be friends fight, and then split up, never to talk with each other again. Warmed my heart, that did, to see how I was changing people’s lives, even the lives of people I didn’t know.
Hey, didn’t s3h write a blog about that a while back? Wanting to be remembered by those he didn’t even know? I did it, comrade, and without becoming famous. Whether they remember me well or not is not hugely my concern, I changed the course of their lives (though negatively) and that’s enough to satisfy me.
But mates, I had SOME morals when I was involved in my operations. Me and kroc (s3h spelled that wrong in his blog) had rules NEVER to hit the same target twice, and always to makes the final betrayal as swift as possible. Even in my largest operation, dreamassassins, though the "gaining trust" portion of the operation took over 6 months, the betrayal occured in about 7 days. 
s3h has to live with the betrayal everyday. I have new found respect for the man. I certainly wouldn’t want to have been subjected to the receiving end of dreamassassins everyday.
As well, me and my comrades had security in each other. "Never betray one who is your comrade." That was the rule with the Agency, that was the rule with Kroc, that was the rule during dreamassassins, and that was the rule whilst in the employ of Master S. Not once was the rule broken.
But apparently that rule doesn’t apply in the life of s3h. Indeed, he can now trust no one, as even his closest mates have on at least one occassion broken his trust. Does this cause paranoia in young s3h? I don’t know. At the very least, it does give s3h one more thing to worry about.
It’s hard to continue on forward when you’re busy looking behind you to make sure you don’t get stabbed.
Such is the case with s3h. He’s been tripped a lot, and he’s too busy making sure he doesn’t lose MORE ground to continue forward. But his dedication to the task is mind boggling. And it inspired another writing.
We’ll never rest.
We’ll never lose intrest
We’ll never step aside and hope you die
I know
Today doesn’t matter
Tomorrow will be better and
They taught me not to swear but today I find I just can’t care so
I swear tomorrow will be a better day.
Please stop living for today.
You can’t confide inside yourself.
You won’t be better off with us on that high shelf
Please hold that leash tight.
Screw what’s really right.
We’ll watch from this great height.
We’ll never rest.
We’ll never lose intrest
We’ll never step aside and hope you die
I know
Today doesn’t matter
Tomorrow will be better and
You fucked yourself up playin a game of truth or dare but you were playing all alone cuz no one was there,
But I swear tomorrow will be a better day.
Mates, comrades, partners, friends,
Heaven’s not where all that ends
Union or not,
Each other’s all we got
and we’ll be watching your ass the whole way til you get what you’ve sought.
We’ll never rest.
We’ll never lose intrest
We’ll never step aside and hope you die
I know
Today doesn’t matter
Tomorrow will be better and
Screwup once said "Man we got something rare!" but if anyone listened, I don’t think they cared.
Faces bare, they just stopped and stared.
 But I swear tomorrow will be a better day.
If you’re out on your own,
An empty Temple for your home,
And it feels like the end,
When brick walls are your friends
Just remember
 last November
Comrade, we saw the ember.
We’ll never rest.
We’ll never lose intrest
We’ll never step aside and hope you die
I know
Today doesn’t matter
Tomorrow will be better and
They taught me not to swear but today I find I just can’t care so
I swear tomorrow will be a better day.


-Kakunaman 15/05/06
Dedicated to s3c0ndh4nd
I lied mates, I wrote that whole thing right now. It’s true though. I think that there should be less of a wall between myself and the Union, because regardless of whether we’re a member or not, we’re united in the task of protecting s3h.
Comrade, the Good Old Days are gone forever. They will never return in full form. You’ve got some new resources to construct YOUR era. Remember it ain’t the Screwup or anyone else running things anymore. It’s you.
You’re more of a tactical person than one who goes out in the field and gets shit done, like me. That’s perfectly fine. Remember that I had a second person working with me at all times, and we formed our tactics with two heads, rather than one. Roll with your strengths boy. If you need help, find someone. If you need advice, we’re always here.
As I said before, YOU run the show now. Do what you want. You’ve got resources, and sooner or later you’re going to have to decide what you’re going to let go of and what you’re going to keep that strangle-hold on.
Comrades, this is my final formal advice to you for the year:
You’re in charge of your own life. You can’t hold on to everything, but you can sure as hell hold on to what’s most important. The toughest part is deciding what’s important, and what’s worth the risk and pain that may result from holding on to causes that seem lost.
Remember this always: Things are rarely as they appear, and causes that appear lost rarely are. You just need to look a little harder and risk a little more to make your dreams a reality.
It was a blast comrades, but Kakunaman is out for the final time.

E3 2K6: pt 5.

So E3 is all wrapped up with for this year, but that doesn’t mean that I’m gone just yet. First I need to hand out my E3 awards. The awards fall into the following categories:
Most Innovative Idea
Strangest Game
Biggest Surprise
Best Graphics
Biggest Disappointment
Most Ridiculous Quote
Overall Best of Show
Most Innovative Idea:
WINNER: Nintendo Wii
This one was obviously no contest. Its the only console that did something new. I can’t wait to get my hands on the Wii and especially Metroid Prime 3.
Strangest Game:
WINNER: LocoRoco (PSP)
Clearly someone was doing some serious chemicals when they thought up this game. Seriously, its like something that the WarioWare crew pulled out of their asses. In LocoRoco you guide some jelly dudes to the end of levels by tilting the screen a la Super Monkey Ball. Check it out if you’re gay and bought a PSP.
Biggest Surprise:
WINNER: Snake as a playable character in Super Smash Bros. Brawl.
Seriously, when I saw Snake come out of that box in this trailer, I nearly jumped. I can’t wait for SSB:B to come out.
An honorable mention in this category goes to MGS:4. The trailer was certainly surprising. Snake totally pwns this category this year.
Best Graphics:

WINNER: Gears of War (Xbox360)

I was undecided on a winner in this category for a while. That is, until I saw a chainsaw rip through an enemy’s head in Gears of War. Absolutely beautiful.
Biggest Dissapointment:
WINNER (or loser?): Lack of a Golden Sun 3 announcement
Golden Sun is easily one of the best RPG series that any console has ever featured, and the fact that its on the GBA makes it even better. The MOST beautiful games on the GBA by far. Camelot had announced plans that they were planning a RPG for the GCN, and everyone expected that this would be Golden Sun 3. However, nothing was mentioned concerning this game at this years E3.
Most Ridiculous Quote:
WINNER: Ken Kutaragi on PS3 price.
Years ago this category was owned by Nintendo’s Yamauchi, but since he’s been gone, Ken Kutaragi has taken his spot. When asked about the PS3 price, Kutaragi had this to say:
"It’s probably too cheap …This is the PS3 price. Expensive, cheap — we don’t want you to think of it in terms of game machines. Because the PS3 is like nothing else.

For instance, is it not nonsense to compare the charge for dinner at the company cafeteria with dinner at a fine restaurant? It’s a question of what you can do with that game machine. If you can have an amazing experience, we believe price is not a problem.

When we announced the PlayStation price, it was said to be expensive. Same for the PlayStation 2. However, when released, both had sales that were unthinkable for previous game machines. This is because both offered experiences that could not be had on previous game machines.

With the PS3, you can have next generation game experiences that could previously not be experienced — things like next generation graphics and various services via the network. And, as with the PS and PS2, we believe people who like games will, without question, purchase it."

Thank you Kutaragi. Now if you could only SHOW us what these "next generation graphics" are, instead of some pre-rendered crap.
WINNER: Super Smash Bros. Brawl
Madness you say? Blasphemy you say? Not at all. While games like Gears of War looked pretty, and games like Metroid Prime 3 were played differently, Super Smash Bros. Brawl was the game who’s trailer took my breath away. Infinitely upgraded from Melee, new characters, new maps, and best of all, ONLINE PLAY, this is the one game that I’m dying to get my hands on. And now I have to wait til 2007 to do that.
All around, it was an excellent E3, except for Sony, who failed to impress anyone this year. I’ll still be around to write one last blog. Whether I do it today, or wait til tomorrow and overstay my welcome is undecided yet. Til then, Kak is out.

E3 2K6: Pt 4.

Hola Fucknuts. This year’s E3 has come to a close… And sadly, that means my time with all of you is nearing its end.
However mates, I’ll still be here tomorrow for some last thoughts. expect 2 more blogs from me.
Without further delay, here’s what I found interesting in E3 news today.
Firstly, does anyone remember a game called Killzone 2 that impressed everyone last year?
That game was suspiciously missing this year
SECOND: 2K Sports showed off their sports games. While the NBA 2K7 and NCAA 2K7 games that I won’t play look good, NHL 2K7 did not. What did 2K Sports do to try and improve the game?
They improved camera angles.
For those of you who don’t play sports games, you should know that sports games already feature at least 5 different camera angles to choose from, even though theres only 1 camera angle that everyone uses. SO WHY THE HELL DO THEY SPEND TIME MAKING NEW CAMERA ANGLES THAT NO ONE WILL EVER USE?
thats beyond me.
Third: Warioware: Smooth Moves. Yes, this was revealed a while ago, but I had no time to talk about it before. and theres not much to say about it, other than the fact that its going to use the Wiimote, and is gonna rock.
Fourth: Guitar hero 2?
Heard of it?
Not for the Wii, but I would suggest checking this one out if you’ve by chance lost your soul and bought the PS2.
Fiveth. I forgot to tell you mates about Yoshi’s Island 2 on the DS. If you’ve played that original, theres no reason not to play this one.
SIXETH: Did I forget to talk about MGS4??? I think I did.
Wow, Snake is an old man in this one.
 And he’s got a gun in his mouth, saying "One last punishment I must endure … this is my final mission. Some stories cannot be told by words. Some legends are meant to die. Some bloodlines must come to an end.
DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR AND WATCH THIS TRAILER. NOW. One of the most impressive things I’ve seen this year.
But on that note, that’ll be all for this year of E3 it seems. Tomorrow will be my final impressions, and my farewell to you all.
One more thing. On monday, New Super Mario Bros. is out. The first new 2-D mario platformer in over a decade. BUY IT.
But til tomorrow, Kakunaman is out.

E3 2K6: pt. 3

Screw you if you don’t know what E3 is, go look it up, you lazy bastards, I don’t have time to tell you today.
FIRST: A Sega bigshot made some interesting comments about the upcoming sonic game.

He said something along the lines of:

"Sonic has gotten a little more kiddy in its last few installments, such as Shadow the Hedgehog, and we want to bring it back to what made it fun in the first place, improved graphics, and a more adult experience"

I thought he was joking. First of all, Sonic has actually gotten more adult recently. Shadow actually said "Damn" in his game. Secondly, If you don’t want to make it kiddy, then stop putting Tails into every game. Third (and funniest of all), IMPROVED GRAPHICS DID NOT MAKE SONIC BETTER:| WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT:| You’d think after countless successful 2-D games and a grand total of ZERO successful 3-D games, Sega would realise that improved graphics do not necessarily make the game better.

 So for those who don’t know, the Wii has its Wiimote as its controller, but also has four slots for gamecube controllers should you want to play a gamecube game, or a game that might not feature Wiimote functionality.

The gamecube controller isn’t the best for playing N64, SNES, and NES games, so nintendo is also releasing a controller that looks a lot like the SNES one, except with 2 added analog sticks, one of which I assume acts as the C-stick.

THIRDLY: (what, did I say two stories? Fuck you, I lied) MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL: WE HAVE NEWS ON THE SUPER SMASH BROS GAME!!!
it will be called "Super Smash Bros: Brawl"
New Characters are:
Metaknight (from Kirby)
Pit (from Kid Icarus)
Samus without suit (I will elaborate more on this later)
and… Snake????!??!?!?!
Yes, Solid Snake will be playable in the next Super Smash Brothers game. Insane? Yes. Amazing? HELLZ YES:|

To put things simply:

Other than that though, I’m totally in love with the game. Sadly, it will no longer be a launch title for Wii. It’ll appear sometime in 2007.
Tomorrow ends E3, but until then, Kak is O.U.EFFING.T.

E3 2K6: pt 2.

Ok, so today E3 officially started. To many a rookie intern, it was like the opening of the gates of heaven.
Today there were some new sights to behold.
Firstly, I must say that Red Steel, a Wii launch title, looks amazing. Swordfighting with the Wiimote. *Drools*
I can only hope that this game will go online. Seriously. If online swordfighting is an option, I think my life will be occupied for a looooong time when it comes out.
Secondly. Gears of War looks amazing for the X360. I’m impressed. Of particular interest is the "chainsaw kill" hehehe..
Third. Prey for the PC and X360. Once again, it looks beautiful.
Fourth. Tis an outrage. The E3 booth babes have been forced to not show off every bit of flesh possible!!
Fifth: Don’t freak out about Halo 3 just yet. Come on, we saw a little over 2:30 of a trailer. Not actual gameplay.
When we see gameplay, I give you fanboys permission to freak out.
Sixth: No news about Super Smash Brothers…
Tomorrow I’ll probably give some info to those who don’t know much about E3 or anything related to it.
Til then, Kak is out.

E3 2K6: pt. 1

ALIGHT MATES. So today we had the conferences wrapped up, and I guess I’ll mainly focus on Nintendo and Sony here.

 So without further ado, here’s my opinion on what I saw.

1. Sony has done the impossible. They have sunk even lower.

Ever heard the saying "If you cant beat em, join em."?

So Sony decides to copy Nintendo and make their controller tilt-sensitive.

2. I’m liking what I’m seeing from Twilight Princess and Metroid Prime 3:

Guys. You can use the grapple beam offensively now. Tell me that’s not amazing:|

Apparently the controller has a high sensitivity, but my guess is that most likely controller sensitivity will be a changable option in the game, like it is in Metroid Prime: Hunters for the DS.

Twilight Princess will be available in two versions. One for the Wii and one for the Gamecube.

3. Sony did something right:


They did away with the bomerang controller.
This controller will NOT have a rumble feature, but as I mentioned before, it is tilt sensitive.

4. Also impressive was Super Mario Galaxy. Its Mario, but in space. Should be sick.


AS WELL, SPORE. This game is designed by the creator of The Sims and looks damn cool. The basic idea is that you start with a single celled organism and evolve and evolve and turn into a galaxy conquering race. My words don’t do it justice, but I recommend checking it out.


5. ahem… this is good. I saved the best for last  SONY HAS ANNOUNCED THE OFFICIAL RELEASE DATE AND PRICE OF THE PS3.

It will be released to North America and Europe on November 17th. If by chance you reside in Japan, you’ll get it on the 11th.

THE PRICE? Sony has decided to make 2 versions of the system. One with a 20 gig hard drive, and one with a 60 gig hard drive.

For the 60 gig hard drive, $599. American.

If you’re cheap, and only want the 20 gig hard drive, then its about $499 american. For Canada its about $659 and $549 respectfully.

without tax.


Don’t worry though. We do get a 1% tax cut 

Oh, and Sony bigshot Ken Kutaragi had this to say about the pricing:

"It’s probably too cheap"

 Don’t ya just love Sony’s "wallet friendly" policy?



Guess who?:D

what’s that? I’m a day early? Fuck that.
Alright mates. This space hasn’t been around long enough for any of you to know me. So a brief introduction:

I’m kak. I’m pretty much teh pwnage of everything ever made. I’m here cuz E3 starts on the 10th. Which means from then to the 12th, its pretty much all about video games, all the time. As much as I like what s3h has done with the place, it could still use a little bit of… my personal touch.

So this is basically the deal. Let’s all just get along and be happy and we’ll have no problems.
Get on my bad side and I’ll shove a fork up yo @$$. ok? great, we’re set then.