K! so yeah, heres a slightly abbriviated version of the second half of the pussy sucking long ass blog… that vanished.
so i went to watch this King Kong movie that everyone’s been making a huge fuss about with Prozzo, Paige, and a Random Alex guy…
NATURALLY, i’m going to make fun of it

first, i’ll give you people a quick synopsis though (with some additional details):
Director dude wants to make a movie. He goes to skull island with his crew. The natives there (who are in serious need of Botox) get pissed off and decide to throw spears into the crew. People die. Then they crew gets pissed off and like the americans they are, they decide to shoot those damn natives, and then they decide to run away. Except this girl gets kidnapped by kong, and since she’s pretty hot, the rest of the crew (all men who need to get laid badly) decide to go save her ass. Kong decides that ripping the girl limb from limb would be a fun thing to do, but then she does some dance for him, and he loves her, and decides not to kill her. Meanwhile, the rest of the crew is chasing kong to save the girl, and along the way, many of them die in various ways, including: devored by velociraptors, falling off a cliff, brontosauruses falling on them, being thrown into a rock wall by Kong, and, my personal favourite, getiing slowly consumed by oversized larvea. The larvea scene is an objectional scene that may disgust some viewers who have weak stomachs (pussies). Anyways, some dude who loves this girl decides to take the girl away from Kong while he’s sleeping. BAD IDEA. Kong gets pissed and decides to kill the guy. The guy runs, and somehow manages to evade Kong and free the girl. Then the crew (which has gotten a lot smaller) decides to chloroform the beast and capture it and bring it to New York. So they bring Kong to New York somehow, even though all they have are 2 lifeboats and a ship that will allegedy sink if it gets any heavier

Anyways, Kong decides that he doesnt like preforming for rich bastards, so he escapes and kills a bunch of them. Then he goes and finds his girl and climbs the empire state building. Then the military fucks come in and kill King Kong. The girl cries for about 20 seconds, then she goes and has the romantic scene thing with the guy who loves her. The media dudes all decide to take pictures of the dead Kong.
THE END. SEE?! I DESCRIBED A 3-HOUR MOVIE IN A FEW MINUTES! I JUST SAVED YOU FUCKING $15 AND 3 HOURS OF YOUR LIFE!
SO heres my analysis. The movie was too long. Period. They could’ve told the story in 90 minutes, and then the couples would have the last hour and a half for fucking and other USEFUL activaties. The scene where Kong dies was pathetic. Basically, its a minute of an oversized gorilla with his eyes can closed roaring softly. Then the camera switches. Now you have a girl crying for a minute. Switch to ape cam. Switch to girl cam. It takes about 10 fucking minutes for the beast to die. The movie is just wayyyy to dragged out. Its like they HAD to make a 3-hour movie, and they ran out of ideas, so they figured "well let’s just double the length of every scene and it’ll be fine…"
AND THERES NO DIOLOGUE! Most of the movie consists of various grunts, roars, screams, moans, yells, cries, and gunshots. It’s hard to find a sentence of over five words in that whole movie. Also, I dunno where the actress girl person learned to "scream in terror" but it sounded like hardcore sex. Seriously, King Kong is about to kill this bitch, and you hear her screaming like "ugh! Ahhhhh… Ohhhhh!" There’s no real explanation for this… unless…
Ok, King Kong’s shoe size is off the fucking scale, and you know what they say about shoe sizes… Imagine the cock on the beast:| actually, when Kong is standing on his hind legs, she’s about eye level with his cock:| So when you hear her moaning in the movie, its only cuz she’s just imagine the fun she could have with that thing…
SO BASICALLY, DONT WATCH KING KONG, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES! EVEN IF YOU WANNA HEAR THE BITCH MOAN, WAIT TIL IT COMES OUT ON DVD! THIS WAY YOU GET THE HANDY FEAUTURE CALLED "fast forward" waste of money, waste of my life…
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IN AN UNRELATED TOPIC, IM GETTING A NEW CELL PHONE!
WITH 6 MONTHS FREE! INCLUDING TEXT MESSAGING!
for those of you who don’t know, my old cell phone was neutered at the Green Day concert back in August, and he’s never been the same after that

We called Rogers and they said that it couldnt be repaired, that it was my fault, and that I would not be eligible for a new phone for 18 months.
BUT THEN!
my mom threatened to cancel our whole families plans with Rogers. She said that paying the $200 cancellation fee would be cheaper than putting up with Rogers, and that she could easily find another company who would offer a much better rate than Rogers had.
Then suddenly they offer us not one, but TWO new FREE Nokia phones, newer models than that motorola one that I had, and each with six months free text messaging and calling. Wow, that was easy:|
THE LESSON HERE: Rogers is a big fucking business. They’re already on top of the world. Their main concern is that they dont fall from the top and be replaced by competitiors. They figure that most Rogers customers know other Rogers customers, and if bad word gets out, it could spread. So now they have to practice an ancient technique used by old corporations that are long extinct. This ancient sacred technique is called "customer satisfaction". If customers are happy, they will not lose their spot on top of the world. Basically I’m just saying that they can be mooched off of with some empty threats.
Just Remember Kiddies: Empty threats are a good way to get what you want, but you need to know how to use them properly. You need to make a threat big enough that it will affect the organization, but small enough that you CAN follow through if they call your bluff. So its not a COMPLETELY empty threat, i guess. Pretty much, just go with the biggest possible thing that you can actually follow through with if necessary. Its a good way to get things you want from those people that actually practice "customer satisfaction". Don’t push your luck though, you’ll get your ass burned. I’m Out.