Archive for July, 2005


well… not exactly a NEW discovery… BUT YOU GIRLS ARE PURE EVIL:| LIKE JESUS CHRIST! you girls are so fucking manipulative its not funny… that’s usually on my side… BUT GOD DAMMIT WHEN YOU USE IT AGAINST ME:| THATS SOME POTENT FUCKING SHIT:| jesus christ, you could make a guy change his mind about getting laid if you wanted:| PSYCHOS, ALL OF YOU! JESUS CHRIST I’M FUCKING CONFUSED TONIGHT CUZ OF YOU GIRLS! if only u’d use ur powers for good instead of evil… oh well, i’m out for tonight… YOU KNOW WHO IM TALKING TO:|:|:|:|:| goodlnight, UR MOMS A FUCKING WHORE! i know… shes with me out
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hmmmmmmm… i’m bored… going to a cousins house soon… well i’m in a random mood, so i’ll type randomly for now… HEADCRABS! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!! *dies*
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*rises from the grave* wow, that was fun… not even HELL wanted me:| weird… i knew heaven didn’t want me after that dream i had a while ago… i dunno, it was a war or something, and jesus ended up shooting me in the head… weird… AND OMG! WONDERLAND! YAY! WEDNESDAY GOD DAMMIT! it will either be fun or a disaster… or both… but disaters are fun! and there’s gonna be one if i dont get my ass into the car in 5 seconds… OUT!!

uh…

oook, I havent blogged in a few days due to time restraints, and time is pretty tight now, so i’ll probably have to keep this one short… wellm the past few days have been filled with a huge variety of emotions and felt a lot of things… jealousy,  depression, joy, hope, false hope, fear, pride, feeling proud for a friends success, feeling happy for another friends success, and A WHOLE HELL OF A LOT OF CONFUSION… and my head hurt a lot because of that… but then again, it wasn’t so bad, it was mostly good… wonderland with alice was fun, VICKY CALLED 30 MINUTES LATE:| and shit, i gotta go, more later, im out

MESSAGE TO VIC AND ALI

ok, you guys are best friends right? but you always seem to be trying to 1-up each other, and you guys are always competing… you guys are both awesome, i’ve seen that… i love the comments you guys leave, they’re always making me smile, and you guys know how to make me laugh, and i really love that…  but ur always asking me "who do you like better?" and i can’t really answer that, because 1. i don’t know the answer, and 2. even if i did know the answer, i wouldn’t be able to say it without one of you getting mad, and that would lead to me messing up again, and losing BOTH of you… and that would really suck big time, so don’t do that to yourselves or me… you girls are both really awesome, but i’m not someone who’s worth competing over, so just don’t, please… s3c0ndh4nd out
Once there was a lonely guy… and the reason he was a lonely guy in the first place was his own fault, because he could never control his emotions… he was often depressed for no reason… got pissed off for no reason… wanted to black out for no reason… and he trudged through life unnoticed, and when he was noticed, it was usually by someone who he had mistakenly offended in some way, but couldn’t control it… and if he tried not talking to people at all they would still be offended and he would end up in a worse spot than before… so either way, he was fucked, and he couldn’t do anything about it at all… even during the rare times that a girl who met him wasnt immediatly freaked out, he knew that eventually, he would accidently fuck up, and he would once again be all alone… it was hard to deal with, because the fact was, he didn’t know what TO say to girls… he dealt with them all the time, and yet he still never knew what to say, or when to shut up… all his signals were crossed, and he felt like it wasn’t even his fault that he always pissed girls off… he had never in his life known what to say to a girl to keep them happy, and he was not proud of that… but there was nothing he could ever do about it… he just slowly walked down the road of life, looking at the ground, knowing in his mind that he was just a stupid, worthless boy…

just to clarify…

vicky, you cant eat skittles and taste the rainbow if you’re over the rainbow… ur thinking of dairy queen keep wednesday thursday or friday open for me so me, u, alice and mike can go to wonderland s3c0ndh4nd is out again
Up and down and up and down and up again… i was gonna have to make a rant today bitching at people who don’t keep promises, but i didn’t have to in the end, cuz my sis put me in a good mood for once when shes not being annoying and scratching me half to death with her nails, she’s actually fun and has a decent sense of humour, so thanks for that sis… she saved me from some depression today instead of causing it as a quick side note, MELISSA DEMATTEO SMELLS ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE FOR SEVERAL REASONS *coughcough* her breath is terrible, her feet stink, and i won’t even TALK about those smelly pits of hers also yes mel, my whores ARE way better than you, they leave NICE comments, and they threaten to rape me and to do that they’d have to come over to my house, wouldn’t they? that means that they’ve been in my house, and might have touched my stuffed penguin VICKY AND ALICE, EVEN IF YOU GUYS DON’T WANT TO BE FRIENDS ANYMORE, IF YOU TOUCH MY PENGUIN I WILL CUT OUT YOUR OVARIES, FEED THEM TO A DOG, SHRINK YOUR TITS AND FEED THEM TO A CAMEL, AND GIVE YOU MANY MANY PIMPLES… but i’ll let you live bcuz i wouldn’t want to be mean also, you two should really be friends again… its bad for me too because i don’t want to have to pick sides between you girls, cuz you’re both awesome… just accept each other and be friends again… its better for both of you AND me if you do… vic, you can’t say you hate everything about alice, cuz you know thats not true, and i know its not true too, because otherwise you wouldn’t have become friends in the first place… and alice, you have to be more accepting of how vic is, cuz thats just the way things are, and its probably not gonna change anytime soon… just be friends guys… me and mike don’t want to have to go to wonderland with just one of you, thats no fun  anyways, i’m gone to somewhere for the next few days… WHERE AM I GOING???????? somewhere over the rainbow… not yet, but hopefully i’ll go there soon, anyways, i’ll talk to everyone in a few days, i still have cams in all ur showers, c yas, i am outtt
i spent too much time away from the computer today to mess anything up, really… once more i have been shown that different people can be in the same situation without being exactly the same… and i’m going to oppose many beliefs here by saying that no, i’m NOT a fake… at least not when it comes to social issues… i will NEVER pretend that i’m someone’s friend when i can’t stand the person, and i will never judge a person based on whether they are outgoing or shy… those qualities are shallow, because even outgoing people have limits, and most shy people eventually overcome it… if you are either calling me a fake, or accusing me of being shallow for those reasons, then you have misjudged me… nothing more to say, and dad is being a royal pain, so s3c0ndh4nd is out for now

s3c0ndh4nd s3c0ndgu3ss3s

thanks to comments i received, im second guessing what i said yesterday… I realise that i don’t WANT to change… fuck it, its way too much work, and i’m fairly content the way i am… I should probably listen to myself more often, cuz going back to my second blog, i said that i was never going to chnage, and that if you didnt like me the way that i was, then fuck off… im going to listen to myself for once… so if you hate me and run away from who i am now, keep running, i don’t plan to change anytime soon… i’m still gonna be the psycho camera-in-vicky’s-shower guy i’ve been for a long time… Besides, its fun to freak people out, even if it means i’ll be lonely for a long time well, what can ya do? I’m used to it anyways " nothings gonna change, we’re going down in flames, i’m not the one" i’m out for now
 
 
OH and as a quick side note, PRICE IS RIGHT IZ ON I FUCKiN LOVE YOU BOB
now im really out
Once again, I am at the bottom… i was crawling back up, but now i’m in an even deeper pit… and i suddenly had a thought… "why do evil men get away with it, can’t you see that I’m in a world of shit? Turn your back on hope and go back inside, stop my bleeding heart, and let the engine die" Those were the first words that I heard at i time when i had lost nearly all hope in life… maybe the reason that i’m still around is because i DID see a small, faint, almost non-existant light at the end of a pitch black tunnel… I used to think that I was the victim in this story… that the evil men were all getting away with what they had done to me… but now i’m thinking… I’M the evil man here… maybe its me who’s bringing hell to everyone… maybe i have become everything that i hate… and i hate this feeling… i enjoy being miserable yes, but this isn’t misery… this is something new… this is a grim realization of what i’ve become, and i hate it… i hate what i’ve become… i feel like some sort of monster or something who people are just pretending to like so that i won’t kill them… i really hate what i’ve become… i changed once, but i don’t know if i could survive it again… no one is coming to save me, and normally that wouldn’t bother me, but for once, i don’t think i can make it on my own… If there was a time when i felt so completely and utterly at the mercy of an unseen God,  its now… Now i’m completely at his mercy… he can kill me or save me if he wants… so whats it gonna be God? What is your judgement? whatever it is, theres only one thing left to say…
 
bring it on…